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回来看看~
夜来
童生


Joined: 09 Oct 2006
Posts: 20

夜来Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-25 02:33:54    Post subject: 回来看看~ Reply with quote

◆ 上冻


一座空空的城,和几只麻雀
在互相的世界里飘
天色锈蚀得不成样子
但没有人说什么
没有值得说出来的理由
我也不说话,我只看墙角那一片孤叶
被紧紧的抓在枯枝上
不在乎遭遇阳光还是冰雨
风走过的时候,天空就呜呜的响


◆ 薄冰


你无法形容一把刀的锋利
从六月赶来,从被削皮的苹果身上
经过肥美的大草原
可是你又无法阻挡那些汁水
甜蜜的覆盖住每双眼睛
故事里说了什么
正在发生的事
让野菊花在冬日的暖阳中枯萎
灰暗成风,并整日的吹
这个远来的终结者
最后举起了刀,连自己和世界一起下葬


◆ 初雪


我渴望拆解一朵雪花的形状
颜色、味道。与秘密进入她的身体
毫不相干,在冬天内部被精雕细刻的精灵
从容得没有理由,来了或去了
十月以后不发出任何声响

也许会相忘于四月,我不能开阔
至少在泛泛的青草长成以前
漫空飞舞,席地而睡
拒绝从身体里抽出安宁

2006-11-23
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-25 07:47:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

行文流畅, 意向空灵.
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和平岛
举人


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-25 18:34:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

最喜欢第一首
主要是因为:
风走过的时候,天空就呜呜的响

把情绪一下子调动了起来
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写诗是为了写更好的诗
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蓝桥
秀才


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 105

蓝桥Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-25 19:21:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

不错的表达!笔力老道!喜欢!
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夜来
童生


Joined: 09 Oct 2006
Posts: 20

夜来Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-25 19:55:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

给楼上三位倒茶,雨雪天气保持好心情~
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孙慧峰
童生


Joined: 09 Oct 2006
Posts: 97

孙慧峰Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-26 05:37:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

很不错的三首~
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左岸
秀才


Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Posts: 215
Location: 中国大连
左岸Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-26 17:41:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

也许会相忘于四月,我不能开阔
至少在泛泛的青草长成以前
漫空飞舞,席地而睡
拒绝从身体里抽出安宁
好,感觉上细微的东西
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黑暗怎样焊住灵魂的银河
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夜来
童生


Joined: 09 Oct 2006
Posts: 20

夜来Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-27 01:28:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢各位朋友们!
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维鹿延
秀才


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 212
Location: 中国广东
维鹿延Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-28 03:03:40    Post subject: Reply with quote

所有的诗句都是楼主自己的。我看可以加精吧。
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散步者身体里面的声音
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左岸
秀才


Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Posts: 215
Location: 中国大连
左岸Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-29 18:47:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

再读兄弟好诗。
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黑暗怎样焊住灵魂的银河
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moonlight
童生


Joined: 25 Dec 2006
Posts: 31
Location: TORONTO
moonlightCollection
PostPosted: 2008-01-01 03:47:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

飞雪春风又一度, 新朋老友何日归?

遥祝新年快乐
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了因大兄
秀才


Joined: 15 Nov 2006
Posts: 209

了因大兄Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-02 02:03:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

喜欢1.冷的自然.问好!
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我不是树上的黑木耳,我被爱过
不能随随便便不回家
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1236932795
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子花
秀才


Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722

子花Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-03 17:22:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

喜欢提上!!
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