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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

集雪

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白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2012-11-20 11:45:44 Post subject: 集雪

集雪（一）雪堆打滚的那个别去阻止他每一个未来的将军今天，都是不羁的顽童（二）葬花，莫过于黛玉荷锄锄着锄着韵脚儿就变了雪花如蝶，扑簌簌乘着天籁飘落先葬了自己，再葬众生（三）想问曹公，白茫茫的大地是否真的干净？风雪粉饰着原野，绽放一脸清纯你颌首含笑不谈硅胶，更不谈黑金谁幡然醒悟风动？幡动？那么我？（四）傍晚听雪，听百鸟归林听鼠闹猫鼾有谁听见蝙蝠震颤着求生之波？延绵在夜西方谓之噬血，东方谓之祈福（五）融雪淹没瞳仁你便是水中那一滴清月洗却些许虚妄，映衬些许本真

子在川上曰
举人

Joined: 18 Nov 2009
Posts: 1314

子在川上曰Collection

Posted: 2012-11-20 12:27:06 Post subject:

有禅味。空灵，跳跃，美。 _________________ 我们是行走在历史中的一群鱼，现在正在大海的深处。

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2012-11-21 11:11:48 Post subject:

子在川上曰 wrote:

有禅味。

空灵，跳跃，美。

谢谢鼓励,问好

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2012-11-21 12:32:35 Post subject:

落先葬了自己，再葬众生落花, 落叶, 落雪,从天上到地面, 从生到死, 从物到己, 从己到人, 层层深入, 自然贴切 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

山城子
榜眼

Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection

Posted: 2012-11-21 17:26:59 Post subject:

（二）葬花，莫过于黛玉荷锄锄着锄着韵脚儿就变了雪花如蝶，扑簌簌乘着天籁飘落先葬了自己，再葬众生飘落，很表象地生动！！ _________________ 诗是人生的雅伴儿。

远狼
秀才

Joined: 04 Nov 2012
Posts: 436
Location: 中国重庆
远狼Collection

Posted: 2012-11-21 17:37:44 Post subject:

空灵的词汇却不失现实的沉思，长短句又将力量分得均匀！ _________________ __________________________ 诗书短文章，潦草乃为狂。管他载道否，吾趣吾自张。 http://blog.sina.com.cn/huolu9

游戏诗歌
秀才

Joined: 21 Jun 2006
Posts: 618
Location: 吉林省和龙市华林路64-12-1号
游戏诗歌Collection

Posted: 2012-11-21 19:12:22 Post subject:

葬花，莫过于黛玉荷锄锄着锄着韵脚儿就变了雪花如蝶，扑簌簌乘着天籁飘

冷雨
秀才

Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Posts: 439

冷雨Collection

Posted: 2012-11-21 21:34:29 Post subject:

这个有用吗？精神不正常！这是朋友常说给冷雨听的，我要毁掉自己，走出痛苦！

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2012-11-21 23:32:30 Post subject:

冷雨 wrote:

这个有用吗？精神不正常！这是朋友常说给冷雨听的，我要毁掉自己，走出痛苦！

雨好，没想到你这个曾被我视为精神不正常的人今天竟比我理性，感动。
过去因怕监控，我就是那个尽力劝阻 “在雪堆里叫驴打滚”的人，如果我以为或许我可以劝阻。有一天，我忽然理解了他们，甚至连我自己也想在雪堆里打打滚了。
好吧，听你的，以后想写诗歌尽量少读负面新闻，省得冻病了。 Razz

谢谢你，真的。

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2012-11-21 23:37:38 Post subject:

问好peace, 山城子老师，远狼，游戏诗歌，谢谢你们的理解和鼓励。

冰清
同进士出身

Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 1921

冰清Collection

Posted: 2012-11-22 08:46:07 Post subject:

水，我和你一样寄望清纯！

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2012-11-22 08:48:48 Post subject:

流畅易懂，更欣赏这种风格。 _________________ 杯中冲浪.披履而行 http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2012-11-23 04:46:47 Post subject:

冰清 wrote:

水，我和你一样寄望清纯！

冰清好，我信。许多人都有这样的期望。其实这是那天和几个诗友聚会后的感想，再就是，，，，，，看下一个回帖 Wink

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2012-11-23 04:53:35 Post subject:

杯中冲浪 wrote:

流畅易懂，更欣赏这种风格。

你要读不懂就惨了，因为这几首小诗是从朋友那儿先装好水，再用你《十月》的冷凝剂冻了一下就成雪花了。 Wink

最近很难见到你，等你新作。

青洋
秀才

Joined: 25 Sep 2012
Posts: 342
Location: 溫哥華
青洋Collection

Posted: 2012-11-23 06:33:17 Post subject:

融雪淹没瞳仁你便是水中那一滴清月 _________________ 坐在方舟中的無用之人天天射落日的倒影

冷雨
秀才

Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Posts: 439

冷雨Collection

Posted: 2012-11-23 21:32:14 Post subject:

问好水！诗歌为我带来了痛苦，生活彻底将我击垮。我很累......

chenrunmin
进士出身

Joined: 21 Nov 2009
Posts: 2427
Location: nanjing.jiangsu.china.
chenrunminCollection

Posted: 2012-11-23 21:51:16 Post subject:

融雪淹没瞳仁你便是水中那一滴清月洗却些许虚妄，映衬些许本真 _________________ 一个来自南京，普通大众中的人。

风动
秀才

Joined: 15 Dec 2006
Posts: 290

风动Collection

Posted: 2012-11-24 12:07:23 Post subject:

山不转哪水在转水不转哪云在转　云不转哪风在转风不转哪心也转　　没有憋死的牛只有愚死的汉－－－－－－－－－－　这歌词写的好。

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2012-11-25 01:05:28 Post subject:

谢谢各位朋友，周末愉快

雨，把风动的回帖读一下你保准乐了，祝好 Very Happy

风动 wrote:

山不转哪水在转水不转哪云在转　
云不转哪风在转风不转哪心也转　　
没有憋死的牛只有愚死的汉
－－－－－－－－－－　这歌词写的好。　　
...

冷雨
秀才

Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Posts: 439

冷雨Collection

Posted: 2012-11-25 17:15:55 Post subject:

问好水！掀开帽子就看到了你！

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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