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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2012-11-20 11:45:44    Post subject: 集雪 Reply with quote

集雪

(一)
雪堆打滚的那个
别去阻止他
每一个未来的将军
今天, 都是不羁的顽童

(二)
葬花,莫过于
黛玉荷锄
锄着锄着韵脚儿就变了
雪花如蝶,扑簌簌乘着天籁



先葬了自己,再葬
众生

(三)
想问曹公,白茫茫的大地是否真的干净?
风雪粉饰着原野,绽放一脸清纯
你颌首含笑
不谈硅胶,更不谈黑金

谁幡然醒悟
风动?幡动?那么
我?

(四)
傍晚听雪,听百鸟归林
听鼠闹猫鼾
有谁听见蝙蝠震颤着求生之波?延绵在夜
西方谓之噬血,东方谓之
祈福

(五)
融雪淹没瞳仁
你便是水中那一滴清月
洗却些许虚妄,映衬
些许本真
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子在川上曰
举人


Joined: 18 Nov 2009
Posts: 1314

子在川上曰Collection
PostPosted: 2012-11-20 12:27:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

有禅味。

空灵,跳跃,美。
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2012-11-21 11:11:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

子在川上曰 wrote:
有禅味。

空灵,跳跃,美。


谢谢鼓励,问好
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hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2012-11-21 12:32:35    Post subject: Reply with quote


先葬了自己,再葬
众生

落花, 落叶, 落雪,从天上到地面, 从生到死, 从物到己, 从己到人, 层层深入, 自然贴切
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山城子
榜眼


Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection
PostPosted: 2012-11-21 17:26:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

(二)
葬花,莫过于
黛玉荷锄
锄着锄着韵脚儿就变了
雪花如蝶,扑簌簌乘着天籁



先葬了自己,再葬
众生

飘落,很表象地生动!! Very Happy
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诗是人生的雅伴儿。
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远狼
秀才


Joined: 04 Nov 2012
Posts: 436
Location: 中国重庆
远狼Collection
PostPosted: 2012-11-21 17:37:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

空灵的词汇却不失现实的沉思,长短句又将力量分得均匀!
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诗书短文章,潦草乃为狂。
管他载道否,吾趣吾自张。
http://blog.sina.com.cn/huolu9
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游戏诗歌
秀才


Joined: 21 Jun 2006
Posts: 618
Location: 吉林省和龙市华林路64-12-1号
游戏诗歌Collection
PostPosted: 2012-11-21 19:12:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

葬花,莫过于
黛玉荷锄
锄着锄着韵脚儿就变了
雪花如蝶,扑簌簌乘着天籁
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冷雨
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Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Posts: 439

冷雨Collection
PostPosted: 2012-11-21 21:34:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

这个有用吗?精神不正常!这是朋友常说给冷雨听的,我要毁掉自己,走出痛苦!
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2012-11-21 23:32:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

冷雨 wrote:
这个有用吗?精神不正常!这是朋友常说给冷雨听的,我要毁掉自己,走出痛苦!


Very Happy Very Happy 雨好,没想到你这个曾被我视为精神不正常的人今天竟比我理性 ,感动。
过去因怕监控,我就是那个尽力劝阻 “在雪堆里叫驴打滚”的人,如果我以为或许我可以劝阻。有一天,我忽然理解了他们,甚至连我自己也想在雪堆里打打滚了。
好吧,听你的,以后想写诗歌尽量少读负面新闻,省得冻病了。 Razz 谢谢你,真的。
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2012-11-21 23:37:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好peace, 山城子老师,远狼,游戏诗歌, 谢谢你们的理解和鼓励。
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冰清
同进士出身


Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 1921

冰清Collection
PostPosted: 2012-11-22 08:46:07    Post subject: Reply with quote

水,我和你一样寄望清纯!
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection
PostPosted: 2012-11-22 08:48:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

流畅易懂,更欣赏这种风格。
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2012-11-23 04:46:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

冰清 wrote:
水,我和你一样寄望清纯!

冰清好,我信。许多人都有这样的期望。其实这是那天和几个诗友聚会后的感想,再就是,,,,,,看下一个回帖 Wink
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2012-11-23 04:53:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

杯中冲浪 wrote:
流畅易懂,更欣赏这种风格。


你要读不懂就惨了,因为这几首小诗是从朋友那儿先装好水,再用你《十月》的冷凝剂冻了一下就成雪花了。 Wink
最近很难见到你,等你新作。
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青洋
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Joined: 25 Sep 2012
Posts: 342
Location: 溫哥華
青洋Collection
PostPosted: 2012-11-23 06:33:17    Post subject: Reply with quote

融雪淹没瞳仁
你便是水中那一滴清月
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冷雨
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Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Posts: 439

冷雨Collection
PostPosted: 2012-11-23 21:32:14    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好水!诗歌为我带来了痛苦,生活彻底将我击垮。我很累......
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chenrunmin
进士出身


Joined: 21 Nov 2009
Posts: 2427
Location: nanjing.jiangsu.china.
chenrunminCollection
PostPosted: 2012-11-23 21:51:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

融雪淹没瞳仁
你便是水中那一滴清月
洗却些许虚妄,映衬
些许本真
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一个来自南京,普通大众中的人。
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风动
秀才


Joined: 15 Dec 2006
Posts: 290

风动Collection
PostPosted: 2012-11-24 12:07:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

山不转哪水在转 水不转哪云在转  
云不转哪风在转 风不转哪心也转   
没有憋死的牛 只有愚死的汉
---------- 这歌词写的好。  Very Happy
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2012-11-25 01:05:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢各位朋友,周末愉快

雨,把风动的回帖读一下你保准乐了,祝好 Very Happy
风动 wrote:
山不转哪水在转 水不转哪云在转  
云不转哪风在转 风不转哪心也转   
没有憋死的牛 只有愚死的汉
---------- 这歌词写的好。   
...
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冷雨
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Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Posts: 439

冷雨Collection
PostPosted: 2012-11-25 17:15:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好水!掀开帽子就看到了你!
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