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"HuaHe Cup" 2007 Chinese Mainland and Oversea Poetry Competition and Non-governmental Magazines and Newspapers Joint Exhibition starts on the first day of 2007.
  
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神龙架之行<一>
蠢读斋主人
童生


Joined: 14 Dec 2008
Posts: 26

蠢读斋主人Collection
PostPosted: 2008-12-31 23:03:57    Post subject: 神龙架之行<一> Reply with quote

题王昭君

生在香溪屈子旁,肠柔骨刚两相当.

丹青不低脂粉眉,留得胡天日月长.



题红坪

天门垭口冷风吹,五潭细雨断人行.

半山青翠明如洗,晚凉溪喧时闻莺.


红坪姊妹峰

三十六峰放眼立,天光半开面目新.

姊妹相依千万年,昭王故事说到今.
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黄洋界
探花


Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection
PostPosted: 2009-01-01 05:30:58    Post subject: Reply with quote

<题王昭君>这首写得好,对王昭君进行了恰当的历史评价.

第二,三首连同第一首,皆有不合韵律之处,请酌定.
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喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰
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野航
秀才


Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 547
Location: toronto
野航Collection
PostPosted: 2009-01-01 05:45:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

词意皆清丽,但音韵不谐.与黄老师同感.
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回归自然 回归心灵 回归传统
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蠢读斋主人
童生


Joined: 14 Dec 2008
Posts: 26

蠢读斋主人Collection
PostPosted: 2009-01-02 22:35:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

黄洋界,野航先生所评即是.本人不擅音韵,做诗不敢妄标律绝,即事感物,以抒胸臆为快,但觉合心顺口即可.今后希二兄多多指教,使小弟能上一层楼矣.谢谢!
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