Maple Review :: View topic - [原创]微型诗《呈献》（外一首）

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[原创]微型诗《呈献》（外一首）

明天朔
童生

Joined: 07 Feb 2008
Posts: 31
Location: 中国肥城
明天朔Collection

Posted: 2008-11-30 04:23:19 Post subject: [原创]微型诗《呈献》（外一首）

请批评呈献微风穿过时间的余光打开黄昏之门把这天的声音送给夜空反思 ⒈ 虫鸣叫醒了夕阳过去开始梳理一夜的思绪 ⒉ 晚霞站起身关上了白色天窗

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2008-11-30 11:32:19 Post subject:

个见，短诗应该短而完整。这些有点象从长诗里割下来的片段，不象独立短诗。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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