Maple Review :: View topic - 《不只是叙述》

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

《不只是叙述》

李有明
秀才

Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Posts: 310

李有明Collection

Posted: 2008-10-10 20:24:09 Post subject: 《不只是叙述》

《不只是叙述》你在困守一段日子睫毛不时的低垂你起身，天空还有一片云孤单的红旗迎风摆动那段音乐与今天的节奏不太适应时断时续偶尔的机动车发动的声响是季节的一种解释有几件衣物在门外悬挂有一些雨珠大胆的坠落话筒那旁她还用着你预想的声响天气开始变凉那个孩子吃着蛋糕牙齿侵满泡沫还有一些落叶在地面做短暂的停住短暂的停住《距离》夜从什么地方开始黑下来一些灯光开始闪烁那些星星并不神秘你坐进臂弯里想着心事饭太饱，不宜久坐我站起身，你用眼睛注视我夜里一些青虫在啃食斑斓墙外跳动着海一些叫喊声从高处降落秋天，有没有爱哭的女人我在水的那边等待一声呼唤

赵福治
探花

Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection

Posted: 2008-10-11 15:14:40 Post subject:

第2首起笔切入不错.

李有明
秀才

Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Posts: 310

李有明Collection

Posted: 2009-01-13 12:07:54 Post subject:

赵福治 wrote:

第2首起笔切入不错.

问好,老师多指正!

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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