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Maple Review Home -> 落尘诗社

一半儿～

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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-09-22 20:56:42 Post subject: 一半儿～

【仙吕】一半儿　香君桃花扇动秀玲珑，笑语飞香炊面红，红粉婆娑征入宫，却心酸，一半儿繁华一半儿空。 _________________ 可情可理，去捧就真

红袖添乱
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Joined: 09 Jan 2008
Posts: 778

红袖添乱Collection

Posted: 2008-09-23 06:28:40 Post subject:

怎么感觉这是两半儿空。。。 _________________ 梦的一端是我脉脉的凝视，而另一端是你清澈的眼睛。

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-09-23 14:46:23 Post subject: 夢不一定會空呀！不過仍有些扞格就是。

红袖添乱 wrote:

怎么感觉这是两半儿空。。。

_________________
可情可理，去捧就真

苏茉儿
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Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 739

苏茉儿Collection

Posted: 2008-09-23 14:51:27 Post subject:

一入宫门深似海，从此肖郎是故人。。。 _________________ 默默无言处，盈盈一笑间。

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-09-23 15:04:43 Post subject: 喔，懂喔！尾巴给些意见？最好能帮我改改～

苏茉儿 wrote:

一入宫门深似海，从此肖郎是故人。。。

_________________
可情可理，去捧就真

悠子
举人

Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection

Posted: 2008-09-23 15:23:39 Post subject:

呓，盗的美人进宫啦？

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-09-23 15:27:50 Post subject: 好像是李香君吧，用一半儿繁华一半儿空。是不是较合逻辑？

悠子 wrote:

呓，盗的美人进宫啦？

_________________
可情可理，去捧就真

悠子
举人

Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection

Posted: 2008-09-23 15:29:55 Post subject: 忒认真哪。一半繁华好多了.....

詩盜喜裸評 wrote:

悠子 wrote:

呓，盗的美人进宫啦？

哎，这两天在院子干活哪，累S。脑子发木

点点儿
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Joined: 12 Jan 2008
Posts: 413
Location: 眇小的地球
点点儿Collection

Posted: 2008-09-23 15:50:15 Post subject:

偶一半无聊两半空～ _________________ －－－其实你永远不懂我的心－－－

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-09-23 15:52:59 Post subject: 谢谢！虽然有些地方不和词谱，先这样啦～

悠子 wrote:

诗盗喜裸评 wrote:

悠子 wrote:

呓，盗的美人进宫啦？

哎，这两天在院子干活哪，累S。脑子发木

_________________
可情可理，去捧就真

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-09-23 15:54:35 Post subject: 无聊才有四处乱逛的乐趣不是？

点点儿 wrote:

偶一半无聊两半空～

_________________
可情可理，去捧就真

苏茉儿
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Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 739

苏茉儿Collection

Posted: 2008-09-23 16:19:00 Post subject:

桃花绾扇秀玲珑，笑语含香吹面红，粉黛盈盈征入宫，心低徊，合袖对月依依梦儿空。不知道谱子，你给吧。没找到。。。先轮一个。试试看。有谱子才好自如。。。刚被选进宫的伊人，好可怜的。。。 _________________ 默默无言处，盈盈一笑间。

苏茉儿
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Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 739

苏茉儿Collection

Posted: 2008-09-23 16:27:11 Post subject:

嗯，结尾就用一半儿繁华一半儿空就不错。前边的嘛，用我答。。。嗯。不错。。。 _________________ 默默无言处，盈盈一笑间。

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-09-23 16:27:43 Post subject:

这里是曲谱。 ×平×仄仄平平△，×仄平平平去平△（上），×仄×平平去平△（上）。厶平平，×仄平平平去上△。这里是词谱。忆王孙，平韵格，单调小令，又名《豆叶黄》、《阑千万里心》。三十一字，五平韵。＋－＋｜｜－－。（韵）＋｜－－＋｜－。（韵）＋｜－－｜｜－。（韵）｜－－。（韵）＋｜－－＋｜－。（韵）我也搞不太懂怎样才正确。 _________________ 可情可理，去捧就真

苏茉儿
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Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 739

苏茉儿Collection

Posted: 2008-09-23 16:30:21 Post subject:

晕呀。。。明儿我自己找谱子，再试试看。。先安去啦。。你想香君吧。哈哈。。。 _________________ 默默无言处，盈盈一笑间。

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-09-23 16:31:04 Post subject: 补述～

苏茉儿 wrote:

嗯，结尾就用一半儿繁华一半儿空就不错。前边的嘛，用我答。。。嗯。不错。。。

【一半儿】小令兼用。即[忆王孙]，末句定格嵌入两个“一半儿”。曲中多用此格，用[忆王孙]整个甚少。
×平×仄仄平平△，×仄平平平去平△，×仄×平平去平△。厶平平△，一半儿平平一半儿上△。
_________________
可情可理，去捧就真

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-09-23 16:32:49 Post subject: 晚安！想着想着，似乎闻得到呢～

苏茉儿 wrote:

晕呀。。。明儿我自己找谱子，再试试看。。先安去啦。。
...

_________________
可情可理，去捧就真

拈花微笑
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Joined: 21 Jan 2008
Posts: 311

拈花微笑Collection

Posted: 2008-09-25 16:45:07 Post subject:

呓，盗的美人进宫啦？ (zt) _________________ 瞠目结舌

是有缘
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Joined: 08 Feb 2008
Posts: 741

是有缘Collection

Posted: 2008-09-28 20:58:48 Post subject:

桃花扇底醉玲珑，笑语盈香侵面红。如狱深宫君莫去，心灰意冷伴身空。 _________________ 蜻蜓点水非无意愁云化雨是有情

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-09-29 05:13:00 Post subject: 有缘兄绝句功力大增，很上手！

是有缘 wrote:

桃花扇底醉玲珑，
...

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可情可理，去捧就真

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