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拈花微笑
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Joined: 21 Jan 2008
Posts: 311

拈花微笑Collection
PostPosted: 2008-09-14 04:05:16    Post subject: 诗 Reply with quote

我想涉过河
到对岸写一首秋天的诗

河中石头星罗棋布
我踏入河中,从一块石头

跃向另一块,尽可能落在
别人从未用过的石头上

秋风,吹我衣,拂我尘
我的头发水草般起伏

秋水清澈见底,鱼儿
游来游去泛起透明的涟漪

那些镶在蓝天白云里的石头啊
个个圆润,爱不释手

我一步三停留,择石
仔细得像挑选婚礼的一个词

终于渡过河了。我露出笑容
回顾河中那条曲折的路径

这时,发现有关那首诗
所有的词与思都已记不起

我想,那诗是留在途中了

(可我,已不能重新再
踏入刚才那条河)
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詩盜喜裸評
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Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾,台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2008-09-14 07:51:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

欣赏这样的喻意,盗版一下。

起意时想想,这样的景况,溪比河适当。

溪水清澈,小鱼儿卖力的舞动
沿着溪石边缘奋力窜游
踏上溪中的石块,我一步三停留
择石,仔细得像挑选婚礼的一个词
尽可能落在,别人从未用过的石头上
秋风,吹我衣,拂我尘
我的头发水草般起伏
那些镶在,蓝天白云里的石头
个个圆润,坚定勇敢
从一块石头,跃向另一块
看似杂乱的步伐,有著明确的方向
溪声叮咚悦耳,石头星罗棋布
我露出笑容,回顾那条曲折的路径
把这首诗,崁进记忆
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悠子
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Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
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PostPosted: 2008-09-14 08:48:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

写诗的过程很生动,诗忘了也罢~
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红袖添乱
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Joined: 09 Jan 2008
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PostPosted: 2008-09-14 14:28:49    Post subject: Reply with quote

建议最后两行不要。

很好的寓意。
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苏茉儿
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Joined: 31 Dec 2007
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苏茉儿Collection
PostPosted: 2008-09-15 08:12:37    Post subject: Reply with quote

嗯,镶嵌到记忆。。。笑兄好!
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拈花微笑
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Joined: 21 Jan 2008
Posts: 311

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PostPosted: 2008-09-18 03:03:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

写诗若涉逝川。乘兴而来,兴尽而归。何须铭记于怀?

谢阅读。
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悠子
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Joined: 04 Jan 2008
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PostPosted: 2008-09-18 08:24:05    Post subject: 要不,带个相机和小秘 Reply with quote

拈花微笑 wrote:
写诗若涉逝川。乘兴而来,兴尽而归。何须铭记于怀?

谢阅读。
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詩盜喜裸評
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PostPosted: 2008-09-18 09:27:37    Post subject: 有道理!他背像机,我背小秘。 Reply with quote

咋啦!都要内部有字。
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拈花微笑
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Joined: 21 Jan 2008
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拈花微笑Collection
PostPosted: 2008-09-21 17:19:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

悠子 wrote:
拈花微笑 wrote:
写诗若涉逝川。乘兴而来,兴尽而归。何须铭记于怀?

谢阅读。


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拈花微笑
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Joined: 21 Jan 2008
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拈花微笑Collection
PostPosted: 2008-09-21 17:23:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

詩盜喜裸評 wrote:
咋啦!都要内部有字。


俺这几行文字和"猪八戒背媳妇"搭得上界么? Laughing
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詩盜喜裸評
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Joined: 15 May 2007
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Location: 台湾,台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2008-09-21 17:30:31    Post subject: 這一路衍生下來不都搭著?挺搭呢~ Reply with quote

拈花微笑 wrote:
詩盜喜裸評 wrote:
咋啦!都要内部有字。


俺这几行文字和"猪八戒背媳妇"搭得上界么? Laughing

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红袖添乱
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Joined: 09 Jan 2008
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PostPosted: 2008-09-22 09:49:13    Post subject: Reply with quote

随意行走,随意收获,随意洒落
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悠子
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Joined: 04 Jan 2008
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PostPosted: 2008-09-22 14:38:43    Post subject: 这么客气干嘛~ Reply with quote

拈花微笑 wrote:
悠子 wrote:
拈花微笑 wrote:
写诗若涉逝川。乘兴而来,兴尽而归。何须铭记于怀?

谢阅读。


Rolling Eyes
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