拈花微笑 秀才
Joined: 21 Jan 2008 Posts: 311
拈花微笑Collection |
Posted: 2008-09-14 04:05:16 Post subject: 诗 |
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我想涉过河
到对岸写一首秋天的诗
河中石头星罗棋布
我踏入河中,从一块石头
跃向另一块,尽可能落在
别人从未用过的石头上
秋风,吹我衣,拂我尘
我的头发水草般起伏
秋水清澈见底,鱼儿
游来游去泛起透明的涟漪
那些镶在蓝天白云里的石头啊
个个圆润,爱不释手
我一步三停留,择石
仔细得像挑选婚礼的一个词
终于渡过河了。我露出笑容
回顾河中那条曲折的路径
这时,发现有关那首诗
所有的词与思都已记不起
我想,那诗是留在途中了
(可我,已不能重新再
踏入刚才那条河) _________________ 瞠目结舌 |
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詩盜喜裸評 进士出身
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Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 2984 Location: 台湾,台北 詩盜喜裸評Collection |
Posted: 2008-09-14 07:51:52 Post subject: |
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欣赏这样的喻意,盗版一下。
起意时想想,这样的景况,溪比河适当。
溪水清澈,小鱼儿卖力的舞动
沿着溪石边缘奋力窜游
踏上溪中的石块,我一步三停留
择石,仔细得像挑选婚礼的一个词
尽可能落在,别人从未用过的石头上
秋风,吹我衣,拂我尘
我的头发水草般起伏
那些镶在,蓝天白云里的石头
个个圆润,坚定勇敢
从一块石头,跃向另一块
看似杂乱的步伐,有著明确的方向
溪声叮咚悦耳,石头星罗棋布
我露出笑容,回顾那条曲折的路径
把这首诗,崁进记忆 _________________ 可情可理,去捧就真 |
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悠子 举人
Joined: 04 Jan 2008 Posts: 1383 Location: US 悠子Collection |
Posted: 2008-09-14 08:48:19 Post subject: |
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写诗的过程很生动,诗忘了也罢~ |
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红袖添乱 秀才
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Joined: 09 Jan 2008 Posts: 778
红袖添乱Collection |
Posted: 2008-09-14 14:28:49 Post subject: |
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建议最后两行不要。
很好的寓意。 _________________ 梦的一端是我脉脉的凝视,
而另一端是你清澈的眼睛。 |
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苏茉儿 秀才
Joined: 31 Dec 2007 Posts: 739
苏茉儿Collection |
Posted: 2008-09-15 08:12:37 Post subject: |
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嗯,镶嵌到记忆。。。笑兄好! _________________ 默默无言处,盈盈一笑间。 |
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拈花微笑 秀才
Joined: 21 Jan 2008 Posts: 311
拈花微笑Collection |
Posted: 2008-09-18 03:03:35 Post subject: |
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写诗若涉逝川。乘兴而来,兴尽而归。何须铭记于怀?
谢阅读。 _________________ 瞠目结舌 |
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悠子 举人
Joined: 04 Jan 2008 Posts: 1383 Location: US 悠子Collection |
Posted: 2008-09-18 08:24:05 Post subject: 要不,带个相机和小秘 |
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拈花微笑 wrote: |
写诗若涉逝川。乘兴而来,兴尽而归。何须铭记于怀?
谢阅读。 |
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詩盜喜裸評 进士出身
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Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 2984 Location: 台湾,台北 詩盜喜裸評Collection |
Posted: 2008-09-18 09:27:37 Post subject: 有道理!他背像机,我背小秘。 |
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咋啦!都要内部有字。 _________________ 可情可理,去捧就真 |
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拈花微笑 秀才
Joined: 21 Jan 2008 Posts: 311
拈花微笑Collection |
Posted: 2008-09-21 17:19:47 Post subject: |
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悠子 wrote: |
拈花微笑 wrote: |
写诗若涉逝川。乘兴而来,兴尽而归。何须铭记于怀?
谢阅读。 |
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拈花微笑 秀才
Joined: 21 Jan 2008 Posts: 311
拈花微笑Collection |
Posted: 2008-09-21 17:23:06 Post subject: |
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俺这几行文字和"猪八戒背媳妇"搭得上界么?  _________________ 瞠目结舌 |
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詩盜喜裸評 进士出身
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Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 2984 Location: 台湾,台北 詩盜喜裸評Collection |
Posted: 2008-09-21 17:30:31 Post subject: 這一路衍生下來不都搭著?挺搭呢~ |
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拈花微笑 wrote: |
俺这几行文字和"猪八戒背媳妇"搭得上界么?  |
_________________ 可情可理,去捧就真 |
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红袖添乱 秀才
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Joined: 09 Jan 2008 Posts: 778
红袖添乱Collection |
Posted: 2008-09-22 09:49:13 Post subject: |
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随意行走,随意收获,随意洒落 _________________ 梦的一端是我脉脉的凝视,
而另一端是你清澈的眼睛。 |
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悠子 举人
Joined: 04 Jan 2008 Posts: 1383 Location: US 悠子Collection |
Posted: 2008-09-22 14:38:43 Post subject: 这么客气干嘛~ |
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拈花微笑 wrote: |
悠子 wrote: |
拈花微笑 wrote: |
写诗若涉逝川。乘兴而来,兴尽而归。何须铭记于怀?
谢阅读。 |
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