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Maple Review Home -> 落尘诗社

写意

拈花微笑
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Joined: 21 Jan 2008
Posts: 311

拈花微笑Collection

Posted: 2008-07-15 08:05:52 Post subject: 写意

<写意> 水面上静如白纸有几叶扁舟像寥寥数语不知是离去，还是归来微启双目，举笔我却忘记了是开始，抑或结束一首诗白纸上的寥寥文字好似那几叶扁舟 _________________ 瞠目结舌

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-07-15 11:19:56 Post subject:

剪裁一下。。。水面上静如白纸有几叶扁舟像寥寥数语不知是离去，还是归来微启双目，举笔我却忘记了是开始，抑或结束 _________________ 可情可理，去捧就真

曲元奇
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Joined: 01 Mar 2008
Posts: 427
Location: 山东
曲元奇Collection

Posted: 2008-07-15 18:57:07 Post subject:

【有几扁舟像寥寥数语】新鲜准确的比喻两段唯妙唯俏羚羊挂角

悠子
举人

Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection

Posted: 2008-07-16 05:03:22 Post subject:

漂亮。。。刀刀剪的也不错

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-07-17 07:15:27 Post subject: 觉得那里多了，或可做其他。

悠子 wrote:

漂亮。。。刀刀剪的也不错

_________________
可情可理，去捧就真

悠子
举人

Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection

Posted: 2008-07-17 07:46:31 Post subject: 剪下来做船帆

詩盜喜裸評 wrote:

悠子 wrote:

漂亮。。。刀刀剪的也不错

拈花微笑
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Joined: 21 Jan 2008
Posts: 311

拈花微笑Collection

Posted: 2008-07-17 08:57:41 Post subject:

谢曲兄评点。这儿用了意象循环，＂水面＂和＂白纸＂，＂文字＂和＂扁舟＂相互隐喻。试披露书写之心象。 _________________ 瞠目结舌

悠子
举人

Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection

Posted: 2008-07-17 10:53:10 Post subject: 我和你盗兄乱剪你的诗，你担待者个

拈花微笑 wrote:

谢曲兄评点。这儿用了意象循环，＂水面＂和＂白纸＂，＂文字＂和＂扁舟＂相互隐喻。试披露书写之心象。

拈花微笑
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Joined: 21 Jan 2008
Posts: 311

拈花微笑Collection

Posted: 2008-07-17 11:08:54 Post subject:

嘿，挺有趣的尝试！其实，一首诗进入了阅读，就和作者无关了。读者，有完全的自由，按照自己的经验和心境去诠释。就此而论，阅读使诗有意义。读者的阅读，创作了诗。 _________________ 瞠目结舌

红袖添乱
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Joined: 09 Jan 2008
Posts: 778

红袖添乱Collection

Posted: 2008-07-17 11:21:29 Post subject:

拈花微笑 wrote:

嘿，挺有趣的尝试！
...

笑兄宽宏大量，我用你的诗打个油吧~~~
_________________
梦的一端是我脉脉的凝视，
而另一端是你清澈的眼睛。

曲元奇
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Joined: 01 Mar 2008
Posts: 427
Location: 山东
曲元奇Collection

Posted: 2008-07-20 19:22:59 Post subject:

我记得诗人王家新说过这样的意思；是诗写人不是人写诗好像尼采也说过；摆脱自我让个人一切愿望和欲望保持缄默没有客观性------就不能想象有最起码的真正的艺术创作我在读您的诗时侯是诗的客观而不是诗人的意图对我起作用当时是诗感染了我忽落了诗人的手法不知对不对

是有缘
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Joined: 08 Feb 2008
Posts: 741

是有缘Collection

Posted: 2008-07-21 20:10:56 Post subject:

也有点禅味。 _________________ 蜻蜓点水非无意愁云化雨是有情

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