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发一组《眼》,大家批
李宏
童生


Joined: 04 Apr 2008
Posts: 70
Location: 贵州
李宏Collection
PostPosted: 2008-07-13 20:53:36    Post subject: 发一组《眼》,大家批 Reply with quote


文/李宏

有一双眼
睡梦里拨动我的神经
想茂密的树林缝里透出
一丝光
刺眼的麻木

我记住那双眼
早晨里写满我的头像
似露珠的反光
一瞬间
消失殆尽

我时常想到那双眼
黑夜里舞动的画笔
象是精灵的寂寞
一回头
露出微笑的苦涩

2008.7.13
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李宏
童生


Joined: 04 Apr 2008
Posts: 70
Location: 贵州
李宏Collection
PostPosted: 2008-07-13 23:24:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

里面有错别字
麻烦斑竹改改
“想茂密的树林缝里透出”应该是
“像茂密的树林缝里透出”

“象是精灵的寂寞”应该是
“像是精灵的寂寞”

谢谢!
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