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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

七律乌托邦----加拿大

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2006-12-04 00:06:33 Post subject: 七律乌托邦----加拿大

七律乌托邦----加拿大 ------司马策风情海趣山春永驻，红尘隔断越千年。雪橇峰顶梦飞去，松鼠门前心爱怜。滚滚人财投热土，泱泱慈爱纳千川。丹枫映酒红霞醉，妻小举头明月圆。小记:到温哥华的第一首 2002，10 _________________ 《北美枫》司马策风文集 http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2006-12-06 18:17:18 Post subject:

古为今, 洋为中, 被司马大人占全了. 提醒, 可能是输入错误, 律诗中间无间隔.

莹雪
进士出身

Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection

Posted: 2006-12-06 21:57:04 Post subject:

意趣盎然。

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2007-01-31 22:22:06 Post subject:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

古为今, 洋为中, 被司马大人占全了.

提醒, 可能是输入错误, 律诗中间无间隔.

多谢白水兄提点。这大概是司马的又一“独创”。只因为这样看起来舒服

一点。就如我写的古诗，会无意间使用现代技法或者现代词汇，同样在

写现代诗歌时，会有意无意出现古典诗词的风韵。不管那么多，精彩动

人为上，我愿为此努力。

拱手拜谢
_________________
《北美枫》司马策风文集

http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2007-01-31 22:24:11 Post subject:

感谢莹雪留墨点评 _________________ 《北美枫》司马策风文集 http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

暗香如沁
秀才

Joined: 14 Jan 2007
Posts: 885
Location: 北京
暗香如沁Collection

Posted: 2007-02-01 03:22:53 Post subject:

很生动。欣赏。 _________________ http://blog.sina.com.cn/axrq用寂寞谱写最美的舞曲~

戴玨
秀才

Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 808

戴玨Collection

Posted: 2007-02-01 08:20:22 Post subject:

泱泱慈爱不知是指誰的慈愛？另，此詩愛字似乎多了點。

暗香如沁
秀才

Joined: 14 Jan 2007
Posts: 885
Location: 北京
暗香如沁Collection

Posted: 2007-02-01 19:58:38 Post subject:

本人很喜欢这句：丹枫映酒红霞醉再来欣赏。 _________________ http://blog.sina.com.cn/axrq用寂寞谱写最美的舞曲~

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2007-02-01 23:32:25 Post subject:

戴玨 wrote:

泱泱慈爱
不知是指誰的慈愛？
另，此詩愛字似乎多了點。

谢谢戴玨的提点。现改动一字：变爱为永。

司马再次感谢
_________________
《北美枫》司马策风文集

http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2007-02-01 23:34:45 Post subject:

感谢暗香如沁点评赞扬。司马腰间送万福 _________________ 《北美枫》司马策风文集 http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

暗香如沁
秀才

Joined: 14 Jan 2007
Posts: 885
Location: 北京
暗香如沁Collection

Posted: 2007-02-02 04:16:06 Post subject:

不敢。暗香来向大家学习。 _________________ http://blog.sina.com.cn/axrq用寂寞谱写最美的舞曲~

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