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[原创]放不下的是你
心怡
童生


Joined: 05 Jun 2007
Posts: 36
Location: 中国成都
心怡Collection
PostPosted: 2008-07-03 16:02:40    Post subject: [原创]放不下的是你 Reply with quote



告诉自己,不要再想你
可是每一次都不够坚决
还是会想起你
想起走过的日子

思念像风一样
在心底蔓延
我想告诉自己
忘了曾经的记忆
忘了你

每当夜深人静的时候
你会出现在我的脑海里
一个眼神 一个回眸的微笑
我被丢弃在冰冷的墙角
很久很久
仿佛经过了一季的冰寒
又好像是一个世纪

经历了多少风雨
你始终扎根在我心里
任何的风吹草动
内心都会纠结的疼痛

思念如风
我只能遥遥的思念你
永远也无法跨越那条河
一条天然的屏障
远远的让风儿捎去无尽的思念

放弃或许是一种美丽
可是我为什么做不到
总想你的脚步能走得慢一些
让我多看看你
尽管那条路没有尽头
真的希望你能瞬间的回头

夜已深了
此刻你在哪里
是否也徘徊在冰冷的街
你知道吗?
真的想把你放下
可是你的喜怒哀乐
总牵动着我的心
不知道你是否会如我般的想你
如果可以……
风儿会把遥远的思念传递吗?

我知道
一生中放不下的是你
_________________
一场雨散去后,紫色的轻烟开始缥缈,在空际中盘旋,终于消失了........
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陈若祥
秀才


Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Posts: 470
Location: 中国*安徽
陈若祥Collection
PostPosted: 2008-07-04 03:43:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

直抒胸臆,很流畅!
叙述的语言还可以再精练些,避免散文化。
个见啊!
_________________
¤当树的叶子再次泛绿,繁华
¤我们欣赏着一部与你我无关的电影
¤看着春天悄悄地走来
¤看着春天延伸在我们的脚下
◆安徽凤鸣诗社◆http://blog.sina.com.cn/fmshishe
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-07-04 16:10:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

很真情的,陈老师说的不错,还可以在凝练~
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