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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

劫后余生

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2008-06-26 17:31:21 Post subject: 劫后余生

劫后余生 ——司马策风大好山河扭为麻花多少城镇多少生命破碎为无数锋利的匕首五月将四川插在中国的胸膛一痛千年泪水顺着呼喊流淌搜寻不断翻检着残壁破砖宝贝啊你一声朝阳破土让希望从死亡的废墟中站立起来在祖国的怀抱中无数孤儿惊恐枯萎的眼神就要抽芽长出绿色的森林那灾后点点蘑菇的帐篷就要得风涌起高楼的波浪 2008，6，22凌晨时分 _________________ 《北美枫》司马策风文集 http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2008-06-26 20:26:45 Post subject:

读者?! _________________ 《北美枫》司马策风文集 http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

William Zhou周道模
探花

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection

Posted: 2008-06-27 14:29:32 Post subject:

问好司马君！看图赋诗，恐怕还是从画面开始。你的诗写得宽、写得“飞”，但和这幅图关系不大啊。 _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱. 周道模

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2008-06-27 16:49:21 Post subject: 感谢周道模阅读和建议

William Zhou周道模 wrote:

问好司马君！
...

感谢周道模阅读和建议.

你说的的确有道理.看图配诗歌,一般可有两种写法:其一,基本以画

面的内容来写;其二,以画面为基础,大胆展开想象,更多写出画面以

外的内容.犹如我们说的,文学来自生活,但又要超越生活一样.

我的写法属于第二种.无论那种方法,只要情真义切,有艺术味和

一定的思想内容就行.

问好周道模兄[/i]
_________________
《北美枫》司马策风文集

http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2008-06-27 20:06:24 Post subject:

就要得风喜欢这处。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2008-06-27 22:08:14 Post subject:

nobody wrote:

就要得风

喜欢这处。

感谢nobody阅评喜欢!

远握
_________________
《北美枫》司马策风文集

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秀水
秀才

Joined: 31 May 2008
Posts: 221
Location: 山东聊城
秀水Collection

Posted: 2008-06-28 02:35:57 Post subject:

在祖国的怀抱中无数孤儿惊恐枯萎的眼神就要抽芽长出绿色的森林那灾后点点蘑菇的帐篷就要得风涌起高楼的波浪颀赏.问好 _________________ 秀水：省青协会员.在《星星诗刊》《绿风》《诗选刊》《常青藤诗刊》等发表诗歌散文二百余篇。兼写童话。邮箱xshx100@163.com 秀水博客http://blog.sina.com.cn/feizoudeshui

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2008-06-28 18:53:08 Post subject:

秀水 wrote:

在祖国的怀抱中
...

多谢秀水阅读喜欢.握个!
_________________
《北美枫》司马策风文集

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司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2008-07-01 21:56:29 Post subject:

将"三个月的婴儿"改为"宝贝",这样比较合适一些. _________________ 《北美枫》司马策风文集 http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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