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《手》
风度飘飘
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Joined: 28 May 2008
Posts: 100

风度飘飘Collection
PostPosted: 2008-06-27 14:34:22    Post subject: 《手》 Reply with quote
　《手》
　　
　　你的手
　　过于温暖和坚强
　　我知道
　　会托住我一生的
　　时光
　　
　　我的手
　　找不到妈妈的
　　乳房
　　眼中是永远的
　　张望
　　
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风度飘飘
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Joined: 28 May 2008
Posts: 100

风度飘飘Collection
PostPosted: 2008-06-27 14:42:02    Post subject: Reply with quote
这两段，哪个在前？哪个在后，有些犹豫，听听大家的意见！
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风度飘飘
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Joined: 28 May 2008
Posts: 100

风度飘飘Collection
PostPosted: 2008-06-27 19:22:07    Post subject: Reply with quote
提一下
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nobody
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Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2008-06-27 20:19:53    Post subject: Reply with quote
倒过来好些。
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风度飘飘
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风度飘飘Collection
PostPosted: 2008-06-28 03:55:47    Post subject: Reply with quote
恩，谢谢！
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半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

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PostPosted: 2008-06-28 05:40:01    Post subject: Reply with quote
恩，同意ＮＹ的意见～
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风度飘飘
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风度飘飘Collection
PostPosted: 2008-06-28 15:12:52    Post subject: Reply with quote
好，谢谢！
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风度飘飘
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Posts: 100

风度飘飘Collection
PostPosted: 2008-06-29 16:54:01    Post subject: Reply with quote
题图诗歌，应该抓住图的主题，挖掘出深意，要贴切，自然，而不是飘忽左右，离题万里。
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