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六月，我们不再道别

拈花微笑
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Joined: 21 Jan 2008
Posts: 311

拈花微笑Collection

Posted: 2008-06-16 17:54:58 Post subject: 六月，我们不再道别

让我们，带上纸船，水和指南针六月的海水，在门外多么温顺所有的岸边，栖泊着净洁的裸体六月的落日，在面前多么耀眼它的金色嗓音，唱点着你我的名字这一时刻，真是我们的多么心跳黄昏的辉煌拱廊，铺开着我们并肩走入六月，我们不再道别 _________________ 瞠目结舌

詩盜喜裸評
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Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-06-16 19:06:39 Post subject:

拈花兄最近几首作品，风格上有些变化。 _________________ 可情可理，去捧就真

曲元奇
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Joined: 01 Mar 2008
Posts: 427
Location: 山东
曲元奇Collection

Posted: 2008-06-16 21:57:39 Post subject:

诗盗兄读别人的诗总是很细心

红袖添乱
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Joined: 09 Jan 2008
Posts: 778

红袖添乱Collection

Posted: 2008-06-16 22:27:40 Post subject:

詩盜喜裸評 wrote:

拈花兄最近几首作品，风格上有些变化。

啥变化，我怎么看不出来？
_________________
梦的一端是我脉脉的凝视，
而另一端是你清澈的眼睛。

红袖添乱
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Joined: 09 Jan 2008
Posts: 778

红袖添乱Collection

Posted: 2008-06-16 22:28:38 Post subject:

曲元奇 wrote:

诗盗兄读别人的诗总是很细心

哈哈~~听起来像是抱怨，就是读自己的诗不细心！
_________________
梦的一端是我脉脉的凝视，
而另一端是你清澈的眼睛。

红袖添乱
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Joined: 09 Jan 2008
Posts: 778

红袖添乱Collection

Posted: 2008-06-16 22:29:53 Post subject:

8道别98道别 _________________ 梦的一端是我脉脉的凝视，而另一端是你清澈的眼睛。

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-06-17 09:02:28 Post subject: 用心看。

红袖添乱 wrote:

诗盗喜裸评 wrote:

拈花兄最近几首作品，风格上有些变化。

啥变化，我怎么看不出来？

不打高空。笔触较有逻辑性，由散状结构走向块状结构。
_________________
可情可理，去捧就真

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-06-17 09:04:55 Post subject: 没！我多半是从第一印象走笔。

否则回话比写首作品还难！ _________________ 可情可理，去捧就真

拈花微笑
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Joined: 21 Jan 2008
Posts: 311

拈花微笑Collection

Posted: 2008-06-23 15:45:30 Post subject:

谢诸位阅读点评 _________________ 瞠目结舌

博弈
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Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection

Posted: 2008-06-25 06:22:58 Post subject:

与六月道别，不与你道别。 _________________ （在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

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