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Maple Review Home -> 落尘诗社

短歌

拈花微笑
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Joined: 21 Jan 2008
Posts: 311

拈花微笑Collection

Posted: 2008-06-08 16:05:02 Post subject: 短歌

我在空谷中徘徊聆听想让秋风传授天籁的秘诀多么无声的黄昏啊让语言崩圯在一首诗中黑夜擦去了所有事物的名称从一口古井的水面上星星和我寂静地交谈 2007-10-15 _________________ 瞠目结舌

博弈
榜眼

Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection

Posted: 2008-06-09 08:09:41 Post subject:

看似无委，天地索求，直到夜深池静，挺好的四段。 _________________ （在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-06-09 10:31:33 Post subject:

若不用第一人称，或许况味不同。 _________________ 可情可理，去捧就真

红袖添乱
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Joined: 09 Jan 2008
Posts: 778

红袖添乱Collection

Posted: 2008-06-09 17:09:54 Post subject:

詩盜喜裸評 wrote:

若不用第一人称，或许况味不同。

道道说的也是一种不错的尝试。。觉得会更深。。更广

乱讲滴~~
_________________
梦的一端是我脉脉的凝视，
而另一端是你清澈的眼睛。

曲元奇
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Joined: 01 Mar 2008
Posts: 427
Location: 山东
曲元奇Collection

Posted: 2008-06-09 22:38:47 Post subject:

这首诗就是天籁之音

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-06-10 09:08:52 Post subject: 我们是同类！

红袖添乱 wrote:

诗盗喜裸评 wrote:

若不用第一人称，或许况味不同。

道道说的也是一种不错的尝试。。觉得会更深。。更广
...

我们是同类！又刚好性别不同！
_________________
可情可理，去捧就真

拈花微笑
秀才

Joined: 21 Jan 2008
Posts: 311

拈花微笑Collection

Posted: 2008-06-10 14:25:57 Post subject:

谢诸位点评。任何一个世界都是主观的。所见，所闻，一草，一木，一山，一水，一鸟啼，一虫鸣，无不是特定的，某一个人的所见，所闻。每个人，见其能所见，闻其能所闻。离了＂我＂的世界是没有意义的。＂空谷幽兰＂若不为我所见，所观照则亦无美之况味。＂以物观我＂不在此论。 _________________ 瞠目结舌

悠子
举人

Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection

Posted: 2008-06-10 15:54:37 Post subject:

好像星星只会和我寂静地交谈, 难道也会和“你”“她”交谈么?

红袖添乱
秀才

Joined: 09 Jan 2008
Posts: 778

红袖添乱Collection

Posted: 2008-06-10 21:29:37 Post subject:

詩盜喜裸評 wrote:

红袖添乱 wrote:

诗盗喜裸评 wrote:

若不用第一人称，或许况味不同。

道道说的也是一种不错的尝试。。觉得会更深。。更广
...

我们是同类！又刚好性别不同！

真是滴，那怎么办哪~~
_________________
梦的一端是我脉脉的凝视，
而另一端是你清澈的眼睛。

红袖添乱
秀才

Joined: 09 Jan 2008
Posts: 778

红袖添乱Collection

Posted: 2008-06-10 21:31:23 Post subject:

黑夜擦去了所有事物的名称 ~~~ 我去睡了~~~~~~~哈~~~~~~ _________________ 梦的一端是我脉脉的凝视，而另一端是你清澈的眼睛。

红袖添乱
秀才

Joined: 09 Jan 2008
Posts: 778

红袖添乱Collection

Posted: 2008-06-10 21:33:29 Post subject:

悠子 wrote:

好像星星只会和我寂静地交谈, 难道也会和“你”“她”交谈么?
Rolling Eyes

我还以为星星只和我交谈，闹了半天，它也和你聊~~~
我猜，它不会仅仅重复同一个故事~~交换秘密？
_________________
梦的一端是我脉脉的凝视，
而另一端是你清澈的眼睛。

红袖添乱
秀才

Joined: 09 Jan 2008
Posts: 778

红袖添乱Collection

Posted: 2008-06-10 21:35:33 Post subject:

从一口古井的水面上星星和我寂静地交谈微笑，它和你谈什么啦？交换秘密？我就想换点酒钱~~ _________________ 梦的一端是我脉脉的凝视，而另一端是你清澈的眼睛。

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-06-11 17:33:47 Post subject: 又刚好我也不知道咋办！

红袖添乱 wrote:

诗盗喜裸评 wrote:

红袖添乱 wrote:

诗盗喜裸评 wrote:

若不用第一人称，或许况味不同。

道道说的也是一种不错的尝试。。觉得会更深。。更广
...

我们是同类！又刚好性别不同！

真是滴，那怎么办哪~~

_________________
可情可理，去捧就真

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-06-12 09:20:18 Post subject: 物若为我，则一切事物皆相对。

拈花微笑 wrote:

谢诸位点评。
...

_________________
可情可理，去捧就真

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