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《雷雨》
子花
秀才


Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722

子花Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-28 20:53:25    Post subject: 《雷雨》 Reply with quote
《雷雨》
你为谁而吼
低低地
在我们山地的上空
几乎触摸到我母亲的乳房
她一路走来 早已伤痕累累
你就让她安息吧
让她微笑着离开我们
把你的怒吼生生咽下 化作血液里的力量

停止你的泪水
停止你那毫无意义的冲刷
母亲的身体虽然沾满污迹
但我们要懂得 她给以我们的
不仅仅是哭泣

我们看到的 要是
闪电没有照亮的地方
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nobody
进士出身


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2008-05-30 03:32:20    Post subject: Reply with quote
闪电没有照亮的地方
_________________
I'm nobody! Who are you?
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-30 07:22:15    Post subject: Reply with quote
停止你的泪水
停止你那毫无意义的冲刷

......
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阿依琼裙
秀才


Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 920
Location: 废墟之上
阿依琼裙Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-30 07:33:57    Post subject: Reply with quote
力量的诗歌
_________________
踏过废墟,走来
http://blog.sina.com.cn/m/weiyurong
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冰清
同进士出身


Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 1921

冰清Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-30 11:29:20    Post subject: Reply with quote
切入点不错！
语言锤炼一下，会更好。
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