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七绝惊悉汶川大地震二首

黄洋界
探花

Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection

Posted: 2008-05-15 08:53:42 Post subject: 七绝惊悉汶川大地震二首

向死难同胞致哀，向震中人民祈祷。蜀地惊心大震来千家万户竟罹灾苍天竟不垂青眼令我生民尽举哀巴山蜀水凄凉地地动惊魂处处哀众志成城人自救齐心协力抗天灾 _________________ ++++++++++++++ 喜金石书画，友竹菊梅兰

qinghongh
榜眼

Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2008-05-15 17:02:34 Post subject:

黄老师心系故乡，情哀四川。同哀！

松云老人
秀才

Joined: 11 Apr 2008
Posts: 376
Location: 中国
松云老人Collection

Posted: 2008-05-15 17:33:58 Post subject:

黄版是蜀人！问候。

他乡客
秀才

Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 487
Location: 加拿大.渥汰华 (Ottawa, Canada)
他乡客Collection

Posted: 2008-05-15 18:55:12 Post subject:

天灾降蜀，黄老动容。为四川老乡们祈祷。

莹雪
进士出身

Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection

Posted: 2008-05-15 19:11:21 Post subject:

让我们共同祈祷祝福！

郑达夫
秀才

Joined: 29 Oct 2007
Posts: 734
Location: 福建永春仙夾園德樓 362604
郑达夫Collection

Posted: 2008-05-15 19:59:44 Post subject:

向死难同胞致哀，向震中人民祈祷。蜀地惊心大震来千家万户竟罹灾苍天竟不垂青眼令我生民尽举哀巴山蜀水凄凉地地动惊魂处处哀众志成城人自救齐心协力抗天灾欣赏欣赏佳作～～问好先生～～ _________________ 我的新浪博客： http://blog.sina.com.cn/zdf595 我的QQ： 450895168 我的地址：福建永春仙夾園德樓（362604）鄭逹夫

黄洋界
探花

Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection

Posted: 2008-05-16 04:54:24 Post subject:

诚谢诸位诗友关注灾情，为川中父老乡亲心哀哀，心愁愁。哀兵必胜！ _________________ ++++++++++++++ 喜金石书画，友竹菊梅兰

秋叶
秀才

Joined: 17 Feb 2007
Posts: 769

秋叶Collection

Posted: 2008-05-16 06:48:23 Post subject:

黄老师大作感人，也向死难同胞致哀，向震中人民祈祷。有二处重字了，供参考。

黄洋界
探花

Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection

Posted: 2008-05-16 09:52:09 Post subject:

谢秋叶关注，谢指出重字，将“千家万户竟罹灾”一句中的“竟“字改作”苦“字，如何？ _________________ ++++++++++++++ 喜金石书画，友竹菊梅兰

秋叶
秀才

Joined: 17 Feb 2007
Posts: 769

秋叶Collection

Posted: 2008-05-17 20:45:56 Post subject:

黄洋界 wrote:

谢秋叶关注，谢指出重字，将“千家万户竟罹灾”一句中的“竟“字改作”苦“字，如何？

“灾”和“苦”近意，用“突”字是否多了一义？供参考。

黄洋界
探花

Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection

Posted: 2008-05-18 07:58:19 Post subject:

秋叶“突”字改得好，形容出人们毫无思想准备而面临的大灾，更显灾情的惨烈，谢谢！ _________________ ++++++++++++++ 喜金石书画，友竹菊梅兰

秋叶
秀才

Joined: 17 Feb 2007
Posts: 769

秋叶Collection

Posted: 2008-05-18 13:24:05 Post subject:

巴山蜀水凄凉地地动惊魂处处哀众志成城人自救齐心协力抗天灾 “地"也重了，改为“巴山蜀水凄凉境”如何，供参考。

黄洋界
探花

Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection

Posted: 2008-05-18 13:30:40 Post subject:

好极了，真是旁观者清啊！谢谢！ _________________ ++++++++++++++ 喜金石书画，友竹菊梅兰

天浪
童生

Joined: 13 May 2007
Posts: 26
Location: 北京海淀
天浪Collection

Posted: 2008-07-10 00:24:10 Post subject:

蜀地惊心大震来千家万户竟罹灾苍天竟不垂青眼令我生民尽举哀竟罹灾，改为惨罹灾，不知如何？悲剧之惨，不在现场，实难感知。天浪问好黄老！ _________________ 　　天　浪 http://blog.sina.com.cn/tlang

黄洋界
探花

Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection

Posted: 2008-07-10 04:03:27 Post subject:

天浪言之在理,换"竟"为"惨",好.谢谢! _________________ ++++++++++++++ 喜金石书画，友竹菊梅兰

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