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你的诗让我流泪
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-18 07:22:50    Post subject: 你的诗让我流泪 Reply with quote

你的诗让我流泪


在死亡的日子里徘徊
我望见你孤寂的身影
祭奠洼地里的一堆白骨

那是我无形的躯壳
埋葬在去年的十月
当你亲手掩埋的瞬间
“做你眼底一滴干枯的泪”
对着黑暗,我哭着发下毒咒

这毒咒却于地底
生出细密的芽
将那白骨纠缠、勒紧、窒息
直至死亡、腐烂

无数次和暗夜对话
在文字堆里勘寻
一些蛛丝马迹终让酸楚决堤
透明的花洇湿诗笺

你焚烧的祭文
和萧索的背影,让我知道
那堆白骨,有我也有你

毒咒化梵音
白骨织经幡
在离天堂很近的地方
我抛弃了自己

2007-1-16
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nobody
进士出身


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2007-01-18 17:07:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

我的吗?谢谢!
woops, 搞错了。

最后一段好。

象看了一部恐怖片。 Surprised Mad Evil or Very Mad Twisted Evil
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I'm nobody! Who are you?
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hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-01-18 20:08:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

是够恐怖的
Very Happy
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为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!
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黄昏雨
童生


Joined: 17 Jan 2007
Posts: 67
Location: 福建
黄昏雨Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-18 22:18:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

在死亡的日子里徘徊
我望见你孤寂的身影
祭奠洼地里的一堆白骨
_____l令人寒意顿生。好。
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手在弦上,心在风中
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-19 06:42:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

抱歉,给大家这样的感觉~呵呵,问好楼上各位~
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-19 08:27:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

你的诗让我流泪 Crying or Very sad

毒咒化梵音
白骨织经幡
这两句有点怕 Razz
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-19 08:57:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水 Moonlight wrote:
你的诗让我流泪 Crying or Very sad

毒咒化梵音
白骨织经幡
这两句有点怕 Razz


这是放下心结,用神灵升华自己的表示啊~
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nobody
进士出身


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2007-01-19 18:33:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

可面对她那胆怯的样子
面对她那凝滞的美
我能怎样?
我对她唯一的报复
就是请她看了一场恐怖电影。。。

下次,俺再报复她,就请她看一首半溪明月的诗! Laughing
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-20 04:00:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

nobody wrote:
可面对她那胆怯的样子
面对她那凝滞的美
我能怎样?
我对她唯一的报复
就是请她看了一场恐怖电影。。。

下次,俺再报复她,就请她看一首半溪明月的诗! Laughing


呵呵,那是我请她看恐怖电影~ Very Happy
这诗有点阴郁了
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-20 07:32:34    Post subject: Reply with quote

半溪明月 wrote:
白水 Moonlight wrote:
你的诗让我流泪 Crying or Very sad

毒咒化梵音
白骨织经幡
这两句有点怕 Razz


这是放下心结,用神灵升华自己的表示啊~


这首诗歌挺感人. 我觉得用词再稍柔和明快点可以加精的. 问好.
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中明
童生


Joined: 16 Jan 2007
Posts: 9

中明Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-21 01:53:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

你的诗让我印象深刻,是爱的一种荒诞的表达。问好!
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-21 06:55:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水 Moonlight wrote:
半溪明月 wrote:
白水 Moonlight wrote:
你的诗让我流泪 Crying or Very sad

毒咒化梵音
白骨织经幡
这两句有点怕 Razz


这是放下心结,用神灵升华自己的表示啊~


这首诗歌挺感人. 我觉得用词再稍柔和明快点可以加精的. 问好.


谢白水鼓励,我会考虑重新修改~
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-21 07:03:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

中明 wrote:
你的诗让我印象深刻,是爱的一种荒诞的表达。问好!


呵呵,问好朋友,其实和爱无关,是经历的一次事件,也是我顺利人生经历的第一次挫折,也是因为误会而起,但是对我打击很大.好在一切都过去了,误会也早消除了
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