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【樱桃熟了】
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-25 14:41:41    Post subject: 【樱桃熟了】 Reply with quote

【樱桃熟了】


人间四月,樱桃熟了
一些甜,被小鸟衔住,逸远
一些甜,浸泡在盆底
被咸水放大。怒放的花
模糊成一首旧诗,或遗忘的梦

梦境之外,你口含樱桃
大把地吐核。这些硬质的核
附属于爱情,被甜包裹
它因颓废而作为纪念
存放在玻璃器皿中

此刻,我们咀嚼的这些甜美
被时间之手搓洗,消毒
啃出樱桃红。一定有长久的四月
等待我们,年年樱桃熟
如你镜头前摇曳的红绫
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-25 15:30:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

泄露了明月个人的爱情细节,也美化了回忆和梦想。
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模
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一言
秀才


Joined: 21 Feb 2007
Posts: 360

一言Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-25 20:26:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好,简练紧凑了很多,看起来你还是个好学生,我们都差不多。
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我是个平凡的人,但我喜欢在平凡的日子里做不平凡的事情,每个人都可以这么来作去认为自己的存在。
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赵福治
探花


Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-25 20:41:08    Post subject: Reply with quote

人间四月,樱桃熟了
一些甜,被小鸟衔住,逸远
一些甜,浸泡在盆底
被咸水放大。怒放的花
模糊成一首旧诗,或遗忘的梦
....以前我也写过一首同题的诗歌,现在看起来,没你这首好啊。
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-26 00:52:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

William Zhou周道模 wrote:
泄露了明月个人的爱情细节,也美化了回忆和梦想。


呵呵,我写的意思肯定不是你读的意思~我自己再读都不是我写的意思了!问好周~
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-26 00:54:13    Post subject: Reply with quote

一言 wrote:
问好,简练紧凑了很多,看起来你还是个好学生,我们都差不多。


呵呵,是好学生,但不是勤奋的学生~问好一言~
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-26 00:55:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

赵福治 wrote:
人间四月,樱桃熟了
...


兄弟把你的诗歌挂出来学习下~ Smile
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丘河
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Joined: 08 Apr 2008
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Location: 科尔沁vs庄周故里
丘河Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-26 10:43:42    Post subject: Reply with quote

一首好诗歌,首先是属于自己的,其次是属于人类的————
雾里看花的孩子问好!!
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陪情感在哲理中流淌——
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-26 15:44:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

我觉得诗歌是内视点文体,应该写自己。自己个人----自然社会-----世界宇宙。
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-26 17:54:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

丘河 wrote:
一首好诗歌,首先是属于自己的,其次是属于人类的————
...


问好丘河,你说的没错~
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-26 17:59:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

William Zhou周道模 wrote:
我觉得诗歌是内视点文体,应该写自己。自己个人----自然社会-----世界宇宙。


恩,这个写作背景是吃樱桃或者淘洗樱桃的一点感悟~ Smile
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赵福治
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Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-27 01:31:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

《樱桃红了》

(一)
风还没有变成雨之前,云
把一朵朵的心跳,和圆圆的意象
种在清晨,或绿或红的等待
是一种过程,放逐在手心
(二)
捧起一朵朵的花开,微微站起
一串串的季节高过头顶
枝头的悸动,如灯盏
轻数窗外的铃声
   (三)
从一个终点,划向另一个起点
这是5月,绿叶
从窗外蔓延,指尖的晶莹
虚构一个又一个的圆,一树的梦
只有一个
(四)
这时,牵动回忆的天
该是蓝的,把核紧握手掌的日子
心,只能装下一颗樱桃
(五)
此刻,渴望的目光中
我是从绿到红的黄,成熟
只是手中游走的笔
被我紧握
(六)
樱桃红了,樱桃红了?
那就再红一些吧

梦开始的地方,我已把樱桃
连同童年,丢失在故乡
挂在5月的梦田



挂出来了,好些年前写的.多批.
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-27 01:55:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

赵福治 wrote:
《樱桃红了》
(三)
从一个终点,划向另一个起点
这是5月,绿叶
从窗外蔓延,指尖的晶莹
虚构一个又一个的圆,一树的梦
只有一个
...


兄弟的诗歌明明比我好,还在谦虚~
你的内容上更厚重些~欣赏学习了!
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nobody
进士出身


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2008-04-29 21:26:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

两个樱桃都令人心爱。哈哈。

世上为什么有些人的樱桃不红?
“这个冬日,他靠近死亡取暖”
前些日子想写点什么,但只写了这一句。
争取明年冬天。。。再写一句,哈哈。

我都成明月的fan了,哈哈。
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-30 07:05:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

nobody wrote:
两个樱桃都令人心爱。哈哈。
...


呵呵,你还别说,我真有个FAS,跟着我戴眼镜.可他明明不近视~ Very Happy
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