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望海潮
是有缘
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Joined: 08 Feb 2008
Posts: 741

是有缘Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-16 16:05:38    Post subject: 望海潮 Reply with quote
海浪如心潮起伏
自远方
拥抱并蚕蚀着岸边的悬崖

拍打着礁石
飞起
又落下数不清的雪花

地平线的凝望
是不尽的思绪
到不了梦中的天涯

汹涌的奔腾
比不过
一跃千里的骏马

明月
撕碎了没有间隙的银光
映着大海片片闪亮的鳞甲

奇迹在深不可测的海底
发不了芽
留在世上的只有远古的神话
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苏茉儿
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Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 739

苏茉儿Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-16 16:55:34    Post subject: Reply with quote
哎呀，发生了什么，这诗真好呢。
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默默无言处，盈盈一笑间。
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是有缘
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Joined: 08 Feb 2008
Posts: 741

是有缘Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-16 17:17:13    Post subject: Reply with quote
就写了首诗吧，象什么也没发生。茉儿，问好！
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蜻蜓点水非无意 愁云化雨是有情
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悠子
举人


Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-16 19:01:41    Post subject: Reply with quote
却说奇迹没有发芽~~
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-16 21:31:52    Post subject: Reply with quote
有缘兄可以试着将韵脚往段落里藏，作品会有不同的况味。
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可情可理，去捧就真
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红袖添乱
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Joined: 09 Jan 2008
Posts: 778

红袖添乱Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-17 12:47:29    Post subject: Reply with quote
有缘交待~~不然我们开会啦~~
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梦的一端是我脉脉的凝视，
而另一端是你清澈的眼睛。
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是有缘
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Joined: 08 Feb 2008
Posts: 741

是有缘Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-17 19:26:43    Post subject: Reply with quote
悠子 wrote:
却说奇迹没有发芽~~


发生了什么？
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是有缘
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Joined: 08 Feb 2008
Posts: 741

是有缘Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-17 19:28:08    Post subject: Reply with quote
詩盜喜裸評 wrote:
有缘兄可以试着将韵脚往段落里藏，作品会有不同的况味。


嗨，也许吧，但我还没学会。
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是有缘
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Joined: 08 Feb 2008
Posts: 741

是有缘Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-17 19:29:44    Post subject: Reply with quote
红袖添乱 wrote:
有缘交待~~不然我们开会啦~~


交代什么？我有罪（不知什么最）。开会是不是通知我参加？
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