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这几天(外二首)
江淮翠竹
童生


Joined: 07 Apr 2008
Posts: 74

江淮翠竹Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-16 16:41:06    Post subject: 这几天(外二首) Reply with quote

这几天(外二首)
文/戴俊马

这几天,我已不是我了
而是一处四季枯荣的山坡
确切的说,是我的内心

有时,青草碧绿,繁花婆娑
有甘露滋润,有青鸟唱歌
我的面部满是春色

有时,寒流激荡,万物摧残
没有鲜花滋润,没有青鸟抚慰
满脸都是抑郁的天空

这变幻莫测的山坡呀
这飘忽不定的心境……
2008.02.18.早晨

寻 医

我想寻一位高明的医生
医治飘忽不定的心境
来到“聊天室”询问谁是华佗
应声震动山河

可是一张口就是些九流江湖小生
哪有什么医术,哪有什么经验
我不气馁,继续投门问医
我的手腕都被鼠标拖残了
也没有找到真正的华佗

望着深遂的“窗口”
不断点击忙碌的“搜索”
高明的心理医生,你身陷何处
2008.02.18.早晨

乌 龟

个头不大
背负的山不小
一米见方的世界里
整日快乐的成长

为它营造舒适的环境
为它提供充足的养料
从来不向我道一声谢
有时还发发小脾气
用背负的山狠命地撞击玻璃缸体
抗议日复一日的幽禁

我只好听从它的摆布
把它从玻璃缸中请出来
平起平坐在客厅里
(它呆在茶几上
我坐在茶几旁)

我们一起看电视节目
一起听交响乐曲
我想,这种活动
一定与它的接受能力有距离
可它却美滋滋的

这小东西──
2008.02.18.下午

[通联:130051,吉,长春市芙蓉桥军产小区8门601室。]
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苏茉儿
秀才


Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 739

苏茉儿Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-16 17:00:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

语言虽不华丽,但意境衬托的很好,很完整。问新朋友好!
_________________
默默无言处,盈盈一笑间。
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾,台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-16 21:23:13    Post subject: Reply with quote

暂时读过第一首,其他待续。觉得(这几天)是相对完整的作品,这样子的题材能营造出完整性,很厉害!
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可情可理,去捧就真
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红袖添乱
秀才


Joined: 09 Jan 2008
Posts: 778

红袖添乱Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-17 12:30:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

有失远迎~~

喜欢你的诗。。
聊天室也能写诗,真不错~~
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梦的一端是我脉脉的凝视,
而另一端是你清澈的眼睛。
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曲元奇
秀才


Joined: 01 Mar 2008
Posts: 427
Location: 山东
曲元奇Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-17 21:39:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

[乌龟 ] 这一首好 人与大自然的对话含义深刻 我很爱读
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曲元奇
秀才


Joined: 01 Mar 2008
Posts: 427
Location: 山东
曲元奇Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-20 22:24:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

[寻医]一首很现实现实生活中什么‘’神医‘’都有 包治百病 诗中似有所指 有生活气息 问新朋友好
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