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雨一直在下
荷梦
进士出身


Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-15 05:37:24    Post subject: 雨一直在下 Reply with quote
这不是巴山,秋天还很远
雨却一直在下
下断三月三的风
更下睡了天空
同眠的,是一首古诗里的
西窗烛花

至于你,正亮着电灯
偎在棉被里,为自己织一件毛衣
左边的座机,右边的手机
在床头柜上打盹

雨一直在下
夜继续蔓延
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山城子
榜眼


Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-15 07:13:39    Post subject: Reply with quote
何当共剪西窗月，却话巴山夜雨时。
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诗是人生的雅伴儿。
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钓月
秀才


Joined: 12 Apr 2008
Posts: 409
Location: 中国江苏
钓月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-15 16:04:23    Post subject: Reply with quote
很美的境!
也注意到了长短句的节奏
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欲钓那只太阳,却钓了一轮月亮

http://www.hongxiu.com/my.asp?id=1310875
http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanqirong
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荷梦
进士出身


Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-18 01:39:15    Post subject: Reply with quote
山城子 wrote:
何当共剪西窗月，却话巴山夜雨时。

的确有这诗在内，但表现的却是与之不同的情绪。。
问好山城子老师！
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荷梦
进士出身


Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-18 01:40:04    Post subject: Reply with quote
谢谢钓月评阅！
问好！
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wq0066
秀才


Joined: 01 Jun 2008
Posts: 126
Location: 中国重庆
wq0066Collection
PostPosted: 2008-06-13 16:46:36    Post subject: Reply with quote
清新雅致,韵涵深意...
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天边云一朵 苍海粟一粒 云儿朵朵随风飘 粟儿粒粒满山崖
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