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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

最美的（新加一个）

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2008-04-06 04:55:45 Post subject: 最美的（新加一个）

〈柘林湖人妖〉据说，湖是人工的水库岛是天然的山大厅里的表演，雌雄难辨泰国人妖啊（导游说）猎奇，坦然披上旅游的外衣就着看猴戏的眼观舞曲终，人渐散门口,三只浓妆的“孔雀” 挨着旅游纪念品摊位为递上的钞票开屏〈最美的〉 “我成了摄影爱好者啦，我只拍最美的！” ——女儿的柘林湖一日游感言穿行湖岛远离众人的视线:斗鸡，猴戏，人妖舞你的镜头为青山碧水剪影给草叶上的水珠特写于是，桃花岛那朵最后的桃花笑红了你的相机笑出了一片桃源

莞君
秀才

Joined: 20 Oct 2007
Posts: 561
Location: 中国陕西
莞君Collection

Posted: 2008-04-06 05:49:06 Post subject:

品读有味问好 _________________ 莞君

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-04-06 07:47:39 Post subject:

荷梦, 好有情趣知道我和女儿一起出去是怎样吗? 女儿照最美的景色, 我照女儿

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2008-04-08 01:29:49 Post subject:

莞君 wrote:

品读有味问好

谢谢！
回好！

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2008-04-08 01:32:12 Post subject:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

荷梦, 好有情趣
...

呵呵，白水的女儿多大了？

莞君
秀才

Joined: 20 Oct 2007
Posts: 561
Location: 中国陕西
莞君Collection

Posted: 2008-04-09 03:49:22 Post subject:

再来品读问好 _________________ 莞君

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2008-04-09 07:17:23 Post subject:

羡慕你们都有女儿～

杨海军
进士出身

Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection

Posted: 2008-04-09 15:37:58 Post subject:

桃花岛那朵最后的桃花笑红了你的相机 _________________ 走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮 ——拙作《离开村庄》 http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751

曲元奇
秀才

Joined: 01 Mar 2008
Posts: 427
Location: 山东
曲元奇Collection

Posted: 2008-04-09 19:47:48 Post subject:

诗的结构浑然一体天然成趣

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2008-04-10 14:14:19 Post subject:

半溪明月 wrote:

羡慕你们都有女儿～

呵呵，明月，你有儿子也令人羡慕啊！

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2008-04-10 14:29:02 Post subject:

谢谢莞君、杨海军、曲元奇！我所希望表达的是，世界喧嚣，审美观倾斜，人为的变态的美倍受追捧，但总算有孩子独爱自然天成的美。刚在博客里看到有朋友直言，题记比我的分行文字美。汗颜！

William Zhou周道模
探花

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection

Posted: 2008-04-10 15:53:12 Post subject:

白描或素描手法的运用，比较生动的“记事”。此诗还可“联想”、“想象”，想她与社会、她的未来，诗意就拓展了。 _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱. 周道模

合心
秀才

Joined: 03 Feb 2008
Posts: 122
Location: 山西太原
合心Collection

Posted: 2008-04-10 18:33:13 Post subject:

于是桃花岛那朵最后的桃花笑红了你的相机好美 _________________ 美是岁月沉淀的金

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2008-04-14 03:45:26 Post subject:

问好合心！谢道模兄评点指教！结尾加了一句。

钓月
秀才

Joined: 12 Apr 2008
Posts: 409
Location: 中国江苏
钓月Collection

Posted: 2008-04-14 07:12:38 Post subject:

桃花岛那朵最后的桃中花国笑红了你的相机 _________________ 欲钓那只太阳,却钓了一轮月亮 http://www.hongxiu.com/my.asp?id=1310875 http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanqirong

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2008-04-15 05:34:46 Post subject:

问好钓月。你的签名很有意思，呵呵！

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2008-04-18 01:45:31 Post subject:

新加一个，放一起收文集啦！

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