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Maple Review Home -> 落尘诗社

流浪~~

悠子
举人

Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection

Posted: 2008-03-31 15:09:19 Post subject: 流浪~~

忘记了幸福在天堂的细节枝叶，在流失的春天里独唱记不起秋意萧瑟给予过属于我们的忧伤晨曦清澈的想象渐渐湮没于那片夕阳烛影慌乱在窗棂是我今夜难眠的迹象春天过期的折叠进尘封的小巷回顾的阳光，走出一抹沧桑一个人在异域，流浪 03/31/2008

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-03-31 16:07:07 Post subject:

‘的’太频繁，让阅读线条显得僵硬。荡秋千比较好！ _________________ 可情可理，去捧就真

悠子
举人

Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection

Posted: 2008-03-31 16:52:42 Post subject: 好久没有听到你严厉的声音了~~接着~~~

詩盜喜裸評 wrote:

‘的’太频繁，让阅读线条显得僵硬。荡秋千比较好！

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-03-31 19:44:14 Post subject:

没说啥哪！还严厉～秋千的方向有问题？ _________________ 可情可理，去捧就真

悠子
举人

Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection

Posted: 2008-04-01 08:25:07 Post subject: 大头朝下了

詩盜喜裸評 wrote:

没说啥哪！还严厉～秋千的方向有问题？

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-04-01 08:32:19 Post subject:

是这图的景深没处理好，看起来像一列纵队。 _________________ 可情可理，去捧就真

悠子
举人

Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection

Posted: 2008-04-01 08:40:03 Post subject:

就是喜欢这没景深的

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-04-01 09:00:21 Post subject:

你这就是想像与实际的落差。 _________________ 可情可理，去捧就真

悠子
举人

Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection

Posted: 2008-04-01 09:03:43 Post subject:

这个够严厉

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-04-01 09:06:22 Post subject:

对一位唯美主义者而言，我承认～ _________________ 可情可理，去捧就真

悠子
举人

Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection

Posted: 2008-04-01 09:11:08 Post subject: 这就是唯美与唯不美的落差~~

詩盜喜裸評 wrote:

对一位唯美主义者而言，我承认～

啥么
秀才

Joined: 10 Jan 2008
Posts: 169

啥么Collection

Posted: 2008-04-01 09:19:06 Post subject:

偶觉得偶是来地球流浪的 _________________ 这有点麻烦

悠子
举人

Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection

Posted: 2008-04-01 09:41:43 Post subject: 啥时候回你的中子星?

啥么 wrote:

偶觉得偶是来地球流浪的

是有缘
秀才

Joined: 08 Feb 2008
Posts: 741

是有缘Collection

Posted: 2008-04-01 16:12:50 Post subject:

荡着秋千，魂游远方。 _________________ 蜻蜓点水非无意愁云化雨是有情

飞狐
童生

Joined: 26 Mar 2008
Posts: 22

飞狐Collection

Posted: 2008-04-01 16:25:03 Post subject:

太伤感了!

曲元奇
秀才

Joined: 01 Mar 2008
Posts: 427
Location: 山东
曲元奇Collection

Posted: 2008-04-01 18:43:01 Post subject:

我想起了一只歌到处流浪到处流浪

爱爱
秀才

Joined: 03 Feb 2008
Posts: 167

爱爱Collection

Posted: 2008-04-01 21:45:01 Post subject:

悠子~~我要跟你一起流浪~

悠子
举人

Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection

Posted: 2008-04-03 11:13:58 Post subject: 我和你一起去逛商场~

爱爱 wrote:

悠子~~我要跟你一起流浪~

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