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《如我》,请雅正!
古井
秀才


Joined: 01 Jun 2007
Posts: 190

古井Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-23 20:21:56    Post subject: 《如我》,请雅正! Reply with quote

★如我

丢掉了盘缠
在步入沾满露珠的春天时
我崭新的棉布口袋里
找不到破碎的银两

挤过热闹的街市
我的孤独和黄昏一样漫长
伊甸园的小家奴坐在长满荒草的河套上
风样的女子抱着一块石头哭泣

茫然一片,就像那滩卤水腌制的爱情
哪些是属于我们的事物
生命下午般干枯
如我,一朵紫砂壶里沉浮的菊花
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莞君
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Joined: 20 Oct 2007
Posts: 561
Location: 中国 陕西
莞君Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-23 20:35:46    Post subject: Reply with quote

欣赏 喜欢后一节
_________________
莞君
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古井
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Joined: 01 Jun 2007
Posts: 190

古井Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-24 20:41:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

莞君 wrote:
欣赏 喜欢后一节


问好!
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子花
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Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722

子花Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-24 21:29:08    Post subject: Reply with quote

如我,春一朵紫砂壶里沉浮的菊花
喜欢的句子!!问好
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下一个偶像是野兽
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Joined: 16 Jan 2007
Posts: 504
Location: 西安
下一个偶像是野兽Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-29 10:17:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

生命下午般干枯

喜欢这句
问好
_________________
我的博客:http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1251343504
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-29 19:38:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

生命下午般干枯
如我,一朵紫砂壶里沉浮的菊花

耐品
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-29 22:04:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

挤过热闹的街市 无
我的孤独人和黄昏一样漫长 B
伊甸园的小家奴坐在长满荒草的河套上 无 1
风样的女子抱着一块石头哭泣 j A

第二段也不错~
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