又一方天 秀才

Joined: 16 Nov 2006 Posts: 385
又一方天Collection |
Posted: 2007-01-03 13:00:33 Post subject: [原创]《乡思缕缕诱登高》 |
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《乡思缕缕诱登高》
枫叶初红九月山, 攀援时有果坠肩。
村婆傍菊花运剪, 学童骑竹柳作鞭。
岭下风云笑中雨, 壶底日月炊里烟。
江湖泛舟玩浪险, 盼登峰上望月圆。 _________________ 空钩久垂
钓得
烟波月醉 |
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白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2007-01-07 07:57:23 Post subject: |
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| 形象, 生动. 浓郁的生活气息 |
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暗香如沁 秀才
Joined: 14 Jan 2007 Posts: 885 Location: 北京 暗香如沁Collection |
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又一方天 秀才

Joined: 16 Nov 2006 Posts: 385
又一方天Collection |
Posted: 2007-01-14 14:56:54 Post subject: |
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| 暗香如沁 wrote: |
| 附议白水。生活气息浓,诗味稍淡,三联“中”可避一个。浅见。 |
谢谢,就改. _________________ 空钩久垂
钓得
烟波月醉 |
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暗香如沁 秀才
Joined: 14 Jan 2007 Posts: 885 Location: 北京 暗香如沁Collection |
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