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[原创]《乡思缕缕诱登高》
又一方天
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PostPosted: 2007-01-03 13:00:33    Post subject: [原创]《乡思缕缕诱登高》 Reply with quote
《乡思缕缕诱登高》

枫叶初红九月山， 攀援时有果坠肩。
村婆傍菊花运剪， 学童骑竹柳作鞭。
岭下风云笑中雨， 壶底日月炊里烟。
江湖泛舟玩浪险， 盼登峰上望月圆。
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白水
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PostPosted: 2007-01-07 07:57:23    Post subject: Reply with quote
形象, 生动. 浓郁的生活气息
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暗香如沁
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PostPosted: 2007-01-14 11:15:20    Post subject: Reply with quote
附议白水。生活气息浓，诗味稍淡，三联“中”可避一个。浅见。
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又一方天
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PostPosted: 2007-01-14 14:56:54    Post subject: Reply with quote
暗香如沁 wrote:
附议白水。生活气息浓，诗味稍淡，三联“中”可避一个。浅见。


谢谢,就改.
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暗香如沁
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PostPosted: 2007-01-15 02:26:43    Post subject: Reply with quote
欣赏这种精益求精的精神
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