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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

在梦里 (获幼稚园大班才艺竞赛二等奖）

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2007-01-11 00:00:46 Post subject: 在梦里 (获幼稚园大班才艺竞赛二等奖）

在梦里 90,4,4 在梦里，我不孤单人们崇拜的那些伟人们跟我在一起玩我们有时猜硬币有时比赛珠算他们常常输给我被罚打手板在梦里，我很有钱我偷偷跟踪过的女孩们围着我哭成一团为了争夺一个吻都说我偏心眼我说算了都有份先去洗洗脸 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2007-01-11 00:12:42 Post subject:

充满童趣和智慧一看就是能成大事的小皇帝 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2007-01-11 00:35:48 Post subject:

有趣，好玩。童贞一片。问好 _________________ 《北美枫》司马策风文集 http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

平和玉
童生

Joined: 11 Jan 2007
Posts: 10
Location: vancouver
平和玉Collection

Posted: 2007-01-11 03:05:30 Post subject:

呵呵,你把生活都当作梦啊!好事情,喜欢和大人物玩,好玩死他们,喜欢女人围着转啊,好,让她们把眼泪流成河!呵呵,好孩子,真出息! _________________ 醉梦封喉

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2007-01-11 11:36:05 Post subject:

谢谢以上各位的回应. _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

唐伯虎
秀才

Joined: 26 Dec 2006
Posts: 120

唐伯虎Collection

Posted: 2007-01-11 11:38:50 Post subject:

幼稚园大班长大后定是个风流才子

平和玉
童生

Joined: 11 Jan 2007
Posts: 10
Location: vancouver
平和玉Collection

Posted: 2007-01-11 20:18:34 Post subject:

呵呵，恐怕父母得后悔生过他！ _________________ 醉梦封喉

和平岛
举人

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection

Posted: 2007-01-11 20:31:27 Post subject:

平和玉 wrote:

呵呵，恐怕父母得后悔生过他！

此言何讲

_________________
写诗是为了写更好的诗

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2007-01-11 21:05:07 Post subject:

哈哈，没啥，再次感谢大家的兴趣和分享。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

平和玉
童生

Joined: 11 Jan 2007
Posts: 10
Location: vancouver
平和玉Collection

Posted: 2007-01-12 02:03:36 Post subject:

哈哈，当然父母是愿意自己有本事生个真正有才华的儿子啊，万一生个自以为是其实不是的，那不是父母丢人大了么！哈哈！玩笑了！ _________________ 醉梦封喉

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2007-01-12 02:52:08 Post subject:

哈哈，有道理。谢谢。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

平和玉
童生

Joined: 11 Jan 2007
Posts: 10
Location: vancouver
平和玉Collection

Posted: 2007-01-12 02:53:25 Post subject:

和平岛 wrote:

平和玉 wrote:

呵呵，恐怕父母得后悔生过他！

此言何讲

"诗言志，诗缘情."从此兄作品里能读出此兄的人性追求来。如果长此以往伤人害己怎么对得起父母的养育之辛苦哦！

请原谅我仅对作品作如是分析！
_________________
醉梦封喉

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2007-01-12 03:14:03 Post subject:

平和玉兄所言甚是，完全赞同。谢谢。顺便披露一下作者当时的出发点：是基于对诗中的“我”的同情。显然，他是成人。但于智力，体力，财力，魅力。。。均处于劣势。因而怯懦，羸弱，软弱。。。只能在无边无沿的梦里寻安慰。弱的成人，无助似孤儿。他叙梦的声音，是天真可怜，不是天真可爱。。。真实的他，一无所有，且永无希望。平和玉兄所言甚是，谢谢。也十分理解，从字面上，很难看出以上的用意。不好意思。水平所限。另外，在“今天晚上可真冷“，作者也表示了对弱势者的同情。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2007-01-13 02:56:11 Post subject:

淡而不浅，欣赏。 _________________ 杯中冲浪.披履而行 http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-01-19 10:05:25 Post subject:

有童趣，喜欢！你小孩的口气说出大人的梦想～

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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