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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

我爱你！

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苏茉儿
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Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 739

苏茉儿Collection

Posted: 2008-03-04 14:31:08 Post subject: 我爱你！

总是期待你能偶而回头鼓舞我追逐后的汗水一个四季有多长，你量过吗？我真的陪你走过转过你的脸的同时，也转过我的身我怕！怕你的味道会慢慢散去我怕！怕你的样子会渐渐模糊快速伸出我的手，剪下你最后一段，眼神里的，温柔定格成我生命里永远的风景挂在墙上，随我老去一个四季有多长，你量过吗？我真的陪你走过 _________________ 默默无言处，盈盈一笑间。

是有缘
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Joined: 08 Feb 2008
Posts: 741

是有缘Collection

Posted: 2008-03-04 15:28:37 Post subject:

写得蛮好。 “一个四季有多长，你量过吗？我真的陪你走过”好象不需重复，如果拿掉，也是不错的诗。 _________________ 蜻蜓点水非无意愁云化雨是有情

赵福治
探花

Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection

Posted: 2008-03-04 15:37:12 Post subject:

快速伸出我的手，剪下你最后一段，眼神里的，温柔定格成我生命里永远的风景挂在墙上，随我老去 .......灵动,知识女性的诗意,欣赏 .

曲元奇
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Joined: 01 Mar 2008
Posts: 427
Location: 山东
曲元奇Collection

Posted: 2008-03-04 23:42:12 Post subject:

转过你的脸的同时也转过我的身真是美妙一瞬14个字道出多少情的变化中 _________________ 曲元奇

苏茉儿
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Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 739

苏茉儿Collection

Posted: 2008-03-05 08:28:47 Post subject: Re: 写得蛮好。 ...

是有缘 wrote:

写得蛮好。
...

有缘兄，谢谢你。我想留下来，如果非要留下来呢，我想加重一下感情色彩。
_________________
默默无言处，盈盈一笑间。

苏茉儿
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Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 739

苏茉儿Collection

Posted: 2008-03-05 08:29:22 Post subject: Re: 快速伸出我的手，剪下你 ...

赵福治 wrote:

快速伸出我的手，剪下你
...

谢谢您喜欢。问好！
_________________
默默无言处，盈盈一笑间。

苏茉儿
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Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 739

苏茉儿Collection

Posted: 2008-03-05 08:29:56 Post subject: Re: 转过你的脸的同时也转过我的身 ...

曲元奇 wrote:

转过你的脸的同时也转过我的身
...

谢谢曲老师赏读。也问好！
_________________
默默无言处，盈盈一笑间。

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-03-05 16:41:18 Post subject:

一个四季有多长，你量过吗？我真的陪你走过自然, 纯真

苏茉儿
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Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 739

苏茉儿Collection

Posted: 2008-03-05 18:01:15 Post subject: Re: 一个四季有多长，你量过吗？我真的陪你走...

白水 Moonlight wrote:

一个四季有多长，你量过吗？
我真的陪你走过

自然, 纯真

谢谢白水姑娘！！问好！
_________________
默默无言处，盈盈一笑间。

山城子
榜眼

Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection

Posted: 2008-03-06 01:33:13 Post subject:

一个四季有多长，你量过吗？我真的陪你走过 ——反复的力量，使诗意浓郁了一倍！ ——问好！学习！

子花
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Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722

子花Collection

Posted: 2008-03-06 02:25:19 Post subject:

挂在墙上，随我老去--不错!!学习!

苏茉儿
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Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 739

苏茉儿Collection

Posted: 2008-03-06 12:16:26 Post subject:

谢谢楼上两位！问好，一道！ _________________ 默默无言处，盈盈一笑间。

始君
童生

Joined: 23 Feb 2008
Posts: 30

始君Collection

Posted: 2008-03-16 18:46:37 Post subject:

http://i31.tinypic.com/259k5k1.jpg http://i28.tinypic.com/2ugforr.jpg http://i27.tinypic.com/10i8cd0.jpg

曲元奇
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Joined: 01 Mar 2008
Posts: 427
Location: 山东
曲元奇Collection

Posted: 2008-03-16 20:48:32 Post subject:

这里真是一个大学校人才济济来到这里是我的幸运诗写的好评也是真知灼见向大家问好

上城
进士出身

Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Posts: 2024
Location: 江夏黄鹤楼
上城Collection

Posted: 2008-03-17 00:52:53 Post subject:

这首诗真热烈似火。问好苏茉儿那几个字还有印章，很不错啊 _________________ 每个诗人都很重要

苏茉儿
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Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 739

苏茉儿Collection

Posted: 2008-03-18 07:29:58 Post subject:

始君 wrote:

http://i31.tinypic.com/259k5k1.jpg
http://i28.tinypic.com/2ugforr.jpg
http://i27.tinypic.com/10i8cd0.jpg

哇！美耶，，，谢谢始君兄，我刚刚看到，谢谢噢！
_________________
默默无言处，盈盈一笑间。

苏茉儿
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Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 739

苏茉儿Collection

Posted: 2008-03-18 07:31:05 Post subject:

曲元奇 wrote:

这里真是一个大学校人才济济来到这里是我的幸运诗写的好评也是真知灼见向大家问好

回曲老师好，今天才看到留言，恢复晚了，请见谅。
_________________
默默无言处，盈盈一笑间。

苏茉儿
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Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 739

苏茉儿Collection

Posted: 2008-03-18 07:32:15 Post subject:

伤城 wrote:

这首诗真热烈似火。问好苏茉儿

那几个字还有印章，很不错啊 Very Happy

谢谢伤城赏读，小女子有礼了。回复晚了，请见谅！问您好。
_________________
默默无言处，盈盈一笑间。

上城
进士出身

Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Posts: 2024
Location: 江夏黄鹤楼
上城Collection

Posted: 2008-03-18 16:57:19 Post subject: ha

苏茉儿 wrote:

伤城 wrote:

这首诗真热烈似火。问好苏茉儿

那几个字还有印章，很不错啊 Very Happy

谢谢伤城赏读，小女子有礼了。回复晚了，请见谅！问您好。

哈哈。像你这样的诗我还真不敢写（我要说你很有勇气的）。“回复晚了”，不用谢我哟~~~
_________________
每个诗人都很重要

笑后
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Joined: 03 Feb 2008
Posts: 136
Location: From nanjing
笑后Collection

Posted: 2008-03-18 18:01:00 Post subject:

山城子 wrote:

一个四季有多长，你量过吗？
...

一个四季有多长，你量过吗？年
我天真的陪你走过

很好的情诗，读着就感觉到了，问好苏苏！
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廖蕙琳以写悼亡诗而自成一家，一意孤行！

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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