Maple Review :: View topic - 《给女友》大家新年好!!

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

《给女友》大家新年好!!

子花
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Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722

子花Collection

Posted: 2008-02-26 05:23:19 Post subject: 《给女友》大家新年好!!

《给女友》我说很爱你我说我每天都不能没有你你叫我不要废话那么多我只想你能多爱我一点点宽容我仅有的点罗嗦你什么都不懂你叫我戒烟我就戒了可现在又抽上了你叫我娶它算了别再来烦你我不敢说什么拿着烟度过了一个下午还真有点那样的念头我知道你也有脆弱的时候你对着我哭了整整几个钟我也安慰了你整整几个钟你一句回应都没有那天我也试着对着你哭说自己好孤独你没说什么你的哭声比我的高出许多今天你很乖很温柔问我我们到底能在一起多久我说一辈子吧下辈子我绝不遇上你

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-02-26 10:22:19 Post subject:

好！这可是你说的，你就下辈子别给我那个：吼悔！ _________________ 可情可理，去捧就真

nobody
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Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2008-02-26 14:14:43 Post subject:

你叫我戒烟我就戒了可现在又抽上了哈哈。有意思。若她让你戒色。。。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-02-26 14:35:12 Post subject:

下辈子我绝不遇上你

阿依琼裙
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Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 920
Location: 废墟之上
阿依琼裙Collection

Posted: 2008-02-26 17:43:35 Post subject:

这辈子我也不敢遇上你哦～～～：）） _________________ 踏过废墟,走来 http://blog.sina.com.cn/m/weiyurong

灯台小老鼠
童生

Joined: 19 Feb 2008
Posts: 82
Location: 中国广东广州
灯台小老鼠Collection

Posted: 2008-03-03 07:17:54 Post subject:

你叫我娶它算了别再来烦你我不敢说什么拿着烟度过了一个下午还真有点那样的念头 ----------- 可惜立场又摆动了......

子花
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Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722

子花Collection

Posted: 2008-03-04 05:19:17 Post subject:

多谢以上各位诗人阅读！新年快乐！！现在工作了时间少，大家先批！！真诚和大家交流！！

陈亚伟
童生

Joined: 24 Aug 2007
Posts: 38

陈亚伟Collection

Posted: 2008-03-04 07:05:42 Post subject:

读到痛！

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2008-03-04 07:15:16 Post subject:

我说一辈子吧下辈子我绝不遇上你子花只是说出了大家不敢所的~ 问好子花

半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2008-03-04 07:18:33 Post subject:

你对着我哭了整整几个钟我也安慰了你整整几个钟这个钟,不能代替钟点吧?看如何表达好!这样有点别扭你你哭了几个钟头我也安慰了几个钟头另外其他语句可以再凝练点一点意见,请斟!

子花
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Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722

子花Collection

Posted: 2008-03-06 02:41:12 Post subject:

明月说得极是!!当时也想到过,删过又加回来了!!不知怎地就是想强调下"对着我""整整"!!!很感谢明月诗人那么认读我的诗!!握手新年好!!!

山城子
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Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
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Posted: 2008-03-06 06:52:15 Post subject:

在别处读过！问好子花！

苏茉儿
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Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 739

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Posted: 2008-03-06 12:24:21 Post subject:

厚厚！我只想问你呀，你，到底爱不爱她啊，，，，哈哈。。。。写的瞒可爱。 _________________ 默默无言处，盈盈一笑间。

子花
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Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722

子花Collection

Posted: 2008-03-07 02:56:47 Post subject: Re: 在别处读过！问好子花！

山城子 wrote:

在别处读过！问好子花！

望老师多批评!!

子花
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Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722

子花Collection

Posted: 2008-03-07 03:00:38 Post subject: Re: 厚厚！我只想问你呀，你，到底爱不爱她啊，...

苏茉儿 wrote:

厚厚！我只想问你呀，你，到底爱不爱她啊，，，，
...

爱又有什么用??什么都不理解!有时候发现太爱一个人了反而是自己的错!!!~~~~爱到最后了,再多的不好似乎都无法放弃了!!~~~

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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