敦智 童生
Joined: 18 Jun 2007 Posts: 40
敦智Collection |
Posted: 2008-02-21 03:41:19 Post subject: 村言 |
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洋房兀立小山坡,惹得村人眼似魔。
时代于今不同了,羡他有女赚钱多。
2008-2-10 |
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晓松 举人

Joined: 26 Feb 2007 Posts: 1192
晓松Collection |
Posted: 2008-02-22 15:53:43 Post subject: |
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贴近现实,走进生活。问好~ |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2008-02-22 21:05:01 Post subject: |
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小诗写诗。第三句是否太过口语化? |
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冰清 同进士出身
Joined: 29 Mar 2007 Posts: 1921
冰清Collection |
Posted: 2008-02-23 21:02:19 Post subject: |
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我倒觉得这"口语化"出神, 且与"村言"贴近。
我读过楼主不少的诗,很欣赏他语言的这一特色. |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2008-02-24 06:22:23 Post subject: |
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谢冰清老师点拨。问好! |
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