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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾,台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-11 18:37:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

苏茉儿 wrote:
嗯,再次感谢!听到它我就不想从那情景了出来,好美的曲子。
...


得贴上连接才听的到。要从音乐出发做创作,恐怕要花上一些时间。
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苏茉儿
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Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 739

苏茉儿Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-11 18:44:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

岛主不贴了么。你点击一下小三角就可以播放的。
的确,听曲子写作不容易,这其中恐怕要找到适
合自己心情的时候才可以跟音乐擦出火花,进而
升华作品,要合一那种感觉。愿意试试的再试。
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾,台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-11 19:07:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

花与叶

秋风催索着花瓣
寒冷,有了美丽的动线
朝同一个方向飘去
舞着,旋转
美丽在这一刻才见珍惜
短暂是宿命,无边的等待
也是

分离,总算是个答案
紧守在一起的颜色依旧清晰
眼底满溢出不舍
挥袖,让袖在风中扬
话语带到唇边止住
唇的颤抖不是心伤
是怕思念,太长


2008/2/12那天1110

先这样!再填下去要晕的。
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悠子
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Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-12 10:53:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

茉儿,很美的音乐,很美的诗。诗盗看来也有些音乐细胞。
我呢,大概又要交白卷。
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾,台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-12 12:33:46    Post subject: Reply with quote

悠子 wrote:
茉儿,很美的音乐,很美的诗。诗盗看来也有些音乐细胞。
...


老套!我优雅的转身,捂着嘴偷偷的笑!

同一招严禁使用两次!
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苏茉儿
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Joined: 31 Dec 2007
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苏茉儿Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-12 15:21:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢诗盗班长,您那个可真短。
悠子在诗歌上可是八面玲珑,来吧。茉儿拭目以待。
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾,台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-12 20:01:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

苏茉儿 wrote:
谢谢诗盗班长,您那个可真短。
...


短!什么意思?欺负人哪?古有名训:勿揭人之短!知道呗~
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红袖添乱
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Joined: 09 Jan 2008
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红袖添乱Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-12 23:12:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

我的心
轻轻碰了
你的心
于是
那悠长悠长的缠绵
是柔肠百转的回声~~

不忍弃
不忍离
唯伴一生。

低颌
拥你入怀
舔去你的血
你的痛
如果你的心是荒野
我作你寂寥的天空

如果你是倦星
摇篮在这里
是我柔软的胸


茉儿好~~~
忙那边,抽空来看看这边

我忙s了~~~~这是我刚听了那段音乐时写的。 听了两遍,一边听,一边写,写的太快,还可修改
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悠子
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Joined: 04 Jan 2008
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PostPosted: 2008-02-13 07:30:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

茉儿,作业写好了。用了你的题你的韵。审批
一个人的雨季
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是有缘
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Joined: 08 Feb 2008
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是有缘Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-13 15:37:17    Post subject: Reply with quote

一个人的雨季太长,长得连着天与地。
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苏茉儿
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Joined: 31 Dec 2007
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苏茉儿Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-14 08:26:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

嗨!大家好。感谢各位积极参与,昨天出远门着凉(明州太冷,太冷,零下25度好几天),我高烧不退。错过你们的贴。请见谅!
情人节之际,给各位送一朵玫瑰话,嗯,去有缘兄那里领吧!我去猫儿几天。
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苏茉儿
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Joined: 31 Dec 2007
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PostPosted: 2008-02-14 14:46:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

红袖添乱 wrote:
我的心
...


收到,收到。好温柔!
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苏茉儿
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Joined: 31 Dec 2007
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PostPosted: 2008-02-14 14:48:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

詩盜喜裸評 wrote:
苏茉儿 wrote:
谢谢诗盗班长,您那个可真短。
...


短!什么意思?欺负人哪?古有名训:勿揭人之短!知道呗~


您那些短俺们都知道不是,还要我再揭呀?
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾,台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-14 16:46:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

苏茉儿 wrote:
诗盗喜裸评 wrote:
苏茉儿 wrote:
谢谢诗盗班长,您那个可真短。
...


短!什么意思?欺负人哪?古有名训:勿揭人之短!知道呗~


您那些短俺们都知道不是,还要我再揭呀?


哈!打死也不承认~只有一样!只有一样短认了:勿揭人之短!
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拈花微笑
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Joined: 21 Jan 2008
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拈花微笑Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-15 11:58:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

有江南雨季的味道。好! 保重。
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爱爱
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Joined: 03 Feb 2008
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PostPosted: 2008-02-15 14:35:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

风吹过水边
漾起阵阵的涟漪
潮湿了
谁的白色的群裾

飞舞的发丝
映出淡淡的记忆
拉近了
谁的纤弱的背影

我离你如此之近啊
只需要再穿过
这一场湿漉漉的雨季
风声掩没了我的叹息
唯有沉默啊
沉默才是此刻我呼唤你的声音


妹妹好些了么? 给你交作业~
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苏茉儿
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PostPosted: 2008-02-15 15:55:07    Post subject: Reply with quote

拈花微笑 wrote:
有江南雨季的味道。好! 保重。


谢谢拈花赏读。问好!
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苏茉儿
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PostPosted: 2008-02-15 15:57:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

爱爱 wrote:
风吹过水边
...


爱姐姐好!没想到你也来接一首,好开心。
穿过雨季,我和你相依!
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爱爱
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Joined: 03 Feb 2008
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PostPosted: 2008-02-17 20:56:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

苏茉儿 wrote:
爱爱 wrote:
风吹过水边
...


爱姐姐好!没想到你也来接一首,好开心。
...


茉儿亲亲,
来交改过的作业
风吹过水边的影子
漾起阵阵的涟漪
潮湿的谁的白色的裙裾
褪色
在一个人的雨季

雨淋湿的的发线
舞动淡淡的记忆
模糊的谁的悲伤的背影
定格
在一个人的雨季

我们隔得如此之近啊
只需要再穿过
这一场的雨季距离
我如蔓藤般的思念
正在努力
一寸一寸向你
靠近


一个人的雨季
风声掩没了我的叹息
唯有沉默啊
沉默才是此刻我呼唤你的声音
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苏茉儿
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Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 739

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PostPosted: 2008-02-18 17:46:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

爱爱 wrote:
苏茉儿 wrote:
爱爱 wrote:
风吹过水边
...


爱姐姐好!没想到你也来接一首,好开心。
...


茉儿亲亲,
...


嗯,也亲亲爱姐姐,辛苦辛苦!我觉得吧,去掉最后两句会不会好些。

风吹过水边的影子
漾起阵阵的涟漪
潮湿的谁的白色的裙裾
褪色
在一个人的雨季

雨淋湿了的发线
舞动淡淡的记忆
模糊的谁的悲伤的背影
定格
在一个人的雨季

我们隔得如此之近啊
只需要再穿过
这一场的雨季距离
我如蔓藤般的思念
正在努力
一寸一寸向你
靠近


一个人的雨季
风声掩没了我的叹息

如果错了你得美意,请你打我,狠狠的打,我要紧牙。
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