Maple Review :: View topic - 三首微型诗

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

三首微型诗

明天朔
童生

Joined: 07 Feb 2008
Posts: 31
Location: 中国肥城
明天朔Collection

Posted: 2008-02-07 02:50:13 Post subject: 三首微型诗

《越狱》罪行的子弹，填满走火的念头射穿了一堵高墙的薄弱《走光》拍下美女松动的拉链或纽扣上网《“华南虎”事件》真相的直白在人与兽的心灵里隐含着一团情感迷雾

赵福治
探花

Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection

Posted: 2008-02-07 15:33:20 Post subject:

在人与兽的心灵里隐含着一团情感迷雾.....结尾不错,单薄了些.

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2008-02-08 17:26:43 Post subject:

很好的诗歌，但题目用一下书名号吧。欢迎兄弟。 _________________ 杯中冲浪.披履而行 http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

明天朔
童生

Joined: 07 Feb 2008
Posts: 31
Location: 中国肥城
明天朔Collection

Posted: 2008-02-09 08:03:29 Post subject:

赵福治 wrote:

在人与兽的心灵里

隐含着一团情感迷雾.....结尾不错,单薄了些.

谢谢批阅和指点；问好！

明天朔
童生

Joined: 07 Feb 2008
Posts: 31
Location: 中国肥城
明天朔Collection

Posted: 2008-02-09 08:04:35 Post subject:

杯中冲浪 wrote:

很好的诗歌，但题目用一下书名号吧。 Very Happy

欢迎兄弟。

谢谢批阅和指点；问好！

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2008-02-09 13:22:57 Post subject:

欣赏，采取的视角很好。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

阿依琼裙
秀才

Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 920
Location: 废墟之上
阿依琼裙Collection

Posted: 2008-02-09 18:23:10 Post subject:

简单但蕴含了丰富～～问好！ _________________ 踏过废墟,走来 http://blog.sina.com.cn/m/weiyurong

明天朔
童生

Joined: 07 Feb 2008
Posts: 31
Location: 中国肥城
明天朔Collection

Posted: 2008-02-17 07:39:59 Post subject:

nobody wrote:

欣赏，采取的视角很好。

谢谢批阅；问好！

明天朔
童生

Joined: 07 Feb 2008
Posts: 31
Location: 中国肥城
明天朔Collection

Posted: 2008-02-17 07:40:41 Post subject:

阿依琼裙 wrote:

简单但蕴含了丰富～～
问好！

谢谢鼓励；问好！

杨海军
进士出身

Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection

Posted: 2008-02-17 15:27:13 Post subject:

真的不错!!! _________________ 走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮 ——拙作《离开村庄》 http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751

明天朔
童生

Joined: 07 Feb 2008
Posts: 31
Location: 中国肥城
明天朔Collection

Posted: 2008-03-04 05:44:45 Post subject: Re: 真的不错!!!

杨海军 wrote:

真的不错!!!

谢谢鼓励；问好！

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2008-03-04 06:43:04 Post subject:

前2个不错，后一个语言上可以再打造下~欢迎新朋友!

陈亚伟
童生

Joined: 24 Aug 2007
Posts: 38

陈亚伟Collection

Posted: 2008-03-04 06:55:08 Post subject:

都喜欢！

明天朔
童生

Joined: 07 Feb 2008
Posts: 31
Location: 中国肥城
明天朔Collection

Posted: 2008-03-26 07:34:08 Post subject:

陈亚伟 wrote:

都喜欢！

谢谢鼓励！

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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