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《渥京周末.原创空间》副刊投稿:俳句四首
许星
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Joined: 06 Mar 2007
Posts: 176

许星Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-06 02:05:56    Post subject: 《渥京周末.原创空间》副刊投稿:俳句四首 Reply with quote

俳句四首
许星(四川绵阳)

月韵

三月花瓣雨,
顺河而上江南女, 
两岸春光绿。

荷趣

池畔柳青青,
映日荷花戏蜻蜓,
五月蝉声紧。

晨曲

淡月挂树梢,
农夫荷锄进山凹,
金鸡早破晓。

暮归

鸟歇池边树,
西山牧童急归屋,
农舍炊烟舞。

作者通联:四川绵阳市建设街8号《绵阳日报》社
邮编:621000 电话:13208289329
邮箱:editress2001@163.com 
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晓松
举人


Joined: 26 Feb 2007
Posts: 1192

晓松Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-06 19:30:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

充满生活情趣,令人神往的田园风光~
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duzhi
童生


Joined: 05 Aug 2007
Posts: 65
Location: 中国安徽
duzhiCollection
PostPosted: 2008-02-06 19:39:14    Post subject: Reply with quote

精彩,欣赏.
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清狂傲世随天性,仗义疏财任我行。
博客:http://blog.sina.com.cn/duzhizhang440
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许星
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Joined: 06 Mar 2007
Posts: 176

许星Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-07 16:42:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢!祝新年快乐!
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许星
秀才


Joined: 06 Mar 2007
Posts: 176

许星Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-08 04:04:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

祝所有文友鼠年大吉!万事顺意!
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游向高原的鱼
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Joined: 20 May 2007
Posts: 382

游向高原的鱼Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-09 02:52:46    Post subject: Reply with quote

同感!
祝大家新年好!
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人生乃是一面镜子,在其中认识自己。
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许星
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Joined: 06 Mar 2007
Posts: 176

许星Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-09 06:23:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

同贺!
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扁舟
童生


Joined: 05 Aug 2007
Posts: 37

扁舟Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-09 06:36:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

非中国传统诗歌形式,不好评论。但韵方面可以说一说,古诗讲平仄,韵部也较细,像“青”和“紧”应该是属于不同韵部的:第一,平仄不同(“青”字平声,“紧”字上声),不可能属同一韵部;第二,韵尾不同(一个有后鼻音,一个没有),即使不论平仄也不属同一韵部。 我查过岳麓书社出的《中华新韵府》,“青”属青韵,“紧”属侵韵。
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