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Canadians Never Say Old
白水
大学士


注册时间: 2006-10-02
帖子: 14102
来自: TORONTO
白水北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2008-02-01 21:18:11    发表主题: Canadians Never Say Old 引用并回复

Canadians Never Say Old


“After I immigrated to Canada, I didn’t like to look into the mirror anymore” my friend Lily said with a smile. We were exchanging stories of our first experience in Canada, sitting beside a small table near the window in a café bar, on a snowing Sunday. I felt that I fully undersood her.For a woman, who was no longer young and who was going to start a new life in a foreign country, wrinkles, even just a couple, could detrimentally affect her confidence.

As with other new immigrants in Canada, she used to work during the day and go to classes of English as a Second Language, that is ESL, in a community center in the evenings. In one of these classes a teacher, Mrs. Dorsy, let students talk about their work in their home country. . Lily used to be a mechanical engineer in China. She could not help feeling down talking about it. It had been quite a struggle in Toronto, looking for a professional job It might actually be impossible.

Mrs. Dorsy cheered Lily to continue, “Excellent, it is a nice profession.Are you working as a mechanical engineer now?” “ No.” Lily answered, saddened much more. o. “I am working in a Chinese restautant.” she answered, feeling quite uncomfortable.

“Did you try to find a job in mechanical engineering?” Mrs. Dorsy encouraged Lily to talk more. Lily began to explain to Mrs. Dorsy all her shortcomings in her job applications”. She meant that she was no longer young, had no Canadian work experience or Canadian professional certificate and her English was poor. “How could I find a professional job in Canada?” Lily lowered her head down further and further. I could picture her in that class.

“What did Mrs. Dorsy say?” I asked, becoming interested.
“The teacher looked at me for a second and spoke very slowly and very clearly”:
‘You look very young. Please remember this, Canadians never say old.’

At the end of the class, Mrs. Dorsy spoke to the whole class proudly : “Tomorrow is my 65th birthday. Today is my last day as an ESL teacher. Let us say goodbye.”

Sixty-five years old? Lily could not believe it. As she looked at the teacher’s pinky and healthy-looking face, her bright eyes and her confident smile. Lily felt enlightened. .

Mrs. Dorsy and her last class. How impressive it is! Since then, Lily has been motivated and driven. Mrs. Dorsy and her last class has inspired her.She has been working hard. She spent all her spare time t in improving her English, Eventually, she got a professional job.

Doess Lily face a mirror these days? I would not have known. But through her her stories and wrinkles , I see much youthfulness in her heart. That is quite infectious.
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白水
大学士


注册时间: 2006-10-02
帖子: 14102
来自: TORONTO
白水北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2008-02-01 21:31:32    发表主题: 引用并回复

改写我的随笔, 请朋友们多侃(砍) Very Happy


老师今天讲ESSAY, 喜欢Razz
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hepingdao
Site Admin


注册时间: 2006-05-25
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hepingdao北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2008-02-01 22:01:31    发表主题: 引用并回复

西方的ESSAY
很规范的
就是中国的八股文,
不要觉得八股文不好
其实它本身,就是一种格式
重要的, 就是如何把你的观点, 借用这种格式, 清晰地表达出来
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白水
大学士


注册时间: 2006-10-02
帖子: 14102
来自: TORONTO
白水北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2008-02-01 22:13:33    发表主题: 引用并回复

就是希望你们多侃(砍), 用你们的眼睛看是否表达清楚了 Confused
今天太累, 明天把笔记整理一下留个八股. 偶尔吃吃西餐还行, 吃多了就受不了啦 Very Happy
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hepingdao
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hepingdao北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2008-02-01 22:33:38    发表主题: 引用并回复

刚看一句
有些语法上的错误哦
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白水
大学士


注册时间: 2006-10-02
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来自: TORONTO
白水北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2008-02-02 10:40:27    发表主题: 引用并回复

HI, PEACE, THANKS . THAT IS WHY I WRITE ESSAY, TRY TO IMPROVE MY ENGLISH.
I CHANGED A LITTLE, DO YOU THINK IT IS BETTER THAN BEFORE?
WELCOM ALL OF MY FRIENDS 接着砍 Wink
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Lake
举人


注册时间: 2007-01-09
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Lake北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2008-02-06 12:09:25    发表主题: Re: Canadian Never Say Old 引用并回复

白水 Moonlight 写到:
Canadian Never Say Old


这里的 Canadian 是不是应该用复数,Canadians?
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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William Zhou周道模
探花


注册时间: 2007-06-10
帖子: 3950
来自: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2008-02-19 23:55:32    发表主题: 引用并回复

just discuss:

when the class ended------"when the class was over"?

or "at the end of the class"?

after a few years------- "a few years later"?
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周道模
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白水
大学士


注册时间: 2006-10-02
帖子: 14102
来自: TORONTO
白水北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2008-02-23 22:10:06    发表主题: 引用并回复

lake, William. Thanks.
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kino
秀才


注册时间: 2006-12-23
帖子: 411
来自: beijing
kino北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2008-02-23 23:40:33    发表主题: 引用并回复

“After I immigrated to Canada, I didn’t like to look into the mirror anymore” 我移民到加拿大之后,就再不喜欢照镜子了。

这个句子的思维就很中国呢~~~我觉得中国人写英文,语法毛病只是一方面,表达方式不地道才是最难客服的。
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白水
大学士


注册时间: 2006-10-02
帖子: 14102
来自: TORONTO
白水北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2008-02-24 03:22:35    发表主题: 引用并回复

谢谢KINO, 你说的问题对用第二语言写作的人确实是个问题.
比如LAKE提出的Canadian加S的问题, 因为是标题,我很慎重. 问中国朋友, 几乎所有的人都能指出语法问题. 我只找到两个同盟党,说不加" S"是对的, 他们的理由是:"有时语法是不灵的, 要重习惯" 而问到西人朋友, 我却找到了半数以上的同盟党. 后来我还是改了, 因为有两位西人朋友对我说, 加"S"没错. 我想, 文章的标题不能太口语化, 说不准是老外们把S弱读了呢. 这让我想到一个最简单的问题, 中国人写(说)中文, 讲语法的并不多. 但这是我们的母语, 我们用起来自如的多. 而作为第二语言的英文, 还是先尽量严格遵守语法才对. 再次谢谢LAKE.

而谈到首句, 倒想和你探讨, 怎样才不中国思维. 因为从英文原文, 这句话恰好是我一个以写作为业的西人朋友改的.

是否应在文章开始就告诉读者, LILY是中国移民呢? 这样大家或许好理解为什么她会在乎那浅浅的皱纹了.(有人曾这样给我建议过,先介绍人物背景, 我懒了一下. 考虑后文有说明LILY是中国人.)

写作的过程就是学习, 提高的过程. 这样的探讨挺有帮助, 很想听你的意见. 谢谢. Very Happy
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kino
秀才


注册时间: 2006-12-23
帖子: 411
来自: beijing
kino北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2008-02-25 05:39:43    发表主题: 引用并回复

不好意思,第一次读的时候,我第一感觉好像那句话有点中国思维,但是你说是老外帮改的,我又糊涂了。不过我的第一感觉也还是中国人的感觉,一个外语学习者的感觉。当时我觉得那句话这样说是不是好点“since i came(immigrated) to Canada, i began to hate looking into mirrors."
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Lake
举人


注册时间: 2007-01-09
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Lake北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2008-02-25 12:57:39    发表主题: 引用并回复

白水很认真啊。

“地道”?唉,怎么也做不到native English speaker 那么地道了。不过语法和他们还有的较量。写东西时,先把能做到的做到吧。尽量减少明显的语法错误。而且,习惯用法不等于忽略语法。我看英国人比美加人更注重语法,更讲究语言的准确性。

看白水花这么多时间去求证,我都有点不好意思了。
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