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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

打工之一 <<在三里屯>> <<小姐露馨>> <<菁菁姐>> <<故乡>>

嘉慕思
童生

Joined: 12 Jan 2008
Posts: 78
Location: 佳木斯
嘉慕思Collection

Posted: 2008-01-12 19:26:46 Post subject: 打工之一 <<在三里屯>> <<小姐露馨>> <<菁菁姐>> <<故乡>>

在京打工 (之一) 1 在三里屯三里屯霓虹闪烁遍地酒吧歌厅足疗的娱乐遍地小姐我们每晚都出来逛街但不敢进去一是钱少二怕被人敲诈还有让公安逮住往死里罚 2 小姐露馨小姐说白了就是妓女不过露馨是个好小姐八个月她盗取了我九次钱财用她那勾魂的媚眼用她那柔美而艳丽的声音用银玉的脸子和丰美的肉她偷盗了我我更爱她还乡的时候我去向她告别她还深情地送我出门并迅速地吻了我一下露馨是个好小姐我得感谢她的体香被我砌进了砖缝被我埋进了故乡的田垄 3 菁菁姐兜里干净再加上流浪一直没有对象但我讲卫生不丑也不笨因为发了一首诗---在网上菁菁姐到工地来看我第一次我们住了一个晚上又睡了一个上午她付的房钱她请的午餐吃完后我不得不跑步去上班 4 故乡到至今还什么都没有我说的是我对了我只有故乡故乡也不欢迎我对了只有母亲母亲死了在村北冰天雪地的坟里 2006年春夏秋冬 _________________ 我为自己唱挽歌---文学是个人的选择,不是集体的强加

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2008-01-12 20:57:05 Post subject:

喜欢这种质朴。希望不会被当作证据抓起来她的体香被我砌进了砖缝 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2008-01-12 21:20:55 Post subject:

欢迎朋友，这首打工生活的诗歌，很漂亮。 _________________ 杯中冲浪.披履而行 http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

嘉慕思
童生

Joined: 12 Jan 2008
Posts: 78
Location: 佳木斯
嘉慕思Collection

Posted: 2008-01-12 22:01:48 Post subject:

愿向大家学习---- _________________ 我为自己唱挽歌---文学是个人的选择,不是集体的强加

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2008-01-12 22:59:42 Post subject:

不错，很本真的描述生活～

嘉慕思
童生

Joined: 12 Jan 2008
Posts: 78
Location: 佳木斯
嘉慕思Collection

Posted: 2008-01-13 16:15:55 Post subject:

半溪明月 wrote:

不错，很本真的描述生活～

谢了: nobody 杯中冲浪半溪明月----除了你本真的心,哪有本真的生活----你的善良的心你的柔美的心你的藏于花朵的心永远被本真折磨的心......
_________________
我为自己唱挽歌---文学是个人的选择,不是集体的强加

迪拜
同进士出身

Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection

Posted: 2008-01-13 17:00:56 Post subject:

思考

嘉慕思
童生

Joined: 12 Jan 2008
Posts: 78
Location: 佳木斯
嘉慕思Collection

Posted: 2008-01-16 22:14:57 Post subject:

久仰迪拜望多指教! _________________ 我为自己唱挽歌---文学是个人的选择,不是集体的强加

嘉慕思
童生

Joined: 12 Jan 2008
Posts: 78
Location: 佳木斯
嘉慕思Collection

Posted: 2008-01-18 23:22:54 Post subject:

向点击者一并致谢! 不怕批判,只怕不看---- _________________ 我为自己唱挽歌---文学是个人的选择,不是集体的强加

韩少君
进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection

Posted: 2008-01-22 02:53:35 Post subject:

好兄弟! _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345

嘉慕思
童生

Joined: 12 Jan 2008
Posts: 78
Location: 佳木斯
嘉慕思Collection

Posted: 2008-01-24 22:20:06 Post subject:

请韩兄说一道二拱拜. _________________ 我为自己唱挽歌---文学是个人的选择,不是集体的强加

山城子
榜眼

Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection

Posted: 2008-01-25 07:16:26 Post subject:

一是钱少二怕被人敲诈还有让公安逮住往死里罚 ——喜欢实话实说！ _________________ 诗是人生的雅伴儿。

溪语
秀才

Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 509
Location: 中国恩施
溪语Collection

Posted: 2008-01-25 21:09:23 Post subject:

第二节写得好,除了找小姐事件本身! _________________ 溪语的博客:家住鄂西

嘉慕思
童生

Joined: 12 Jan 2008
Posts: 78
Location: 佳木斯
嘉慕思Collection

Posted: 2008-01-29 00:30:29 Post subject:

感谢溪语山城子老师直言议论。我将继续努力！ _________________ 我为自己唱挽歌---文学是个人的选择,不是集体的强加

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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