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[原创新诗] 雪 儿 啊
William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-21 02:15:17    Post subject: [原创新诗] 雪 儿 啊 Reply with quote

上午雪花飘落,激情挂出旧作;下午上网一看,《雪儿》哪里去了?

         雪 儿 啊

拱破云团的孕育
逃离天庭的寒禁
仙女们啊 你们
一路飘洒 坠落命运

跳着舞坠落
牵开六花瓣的舞裙
多少人欣赏你们的玉体
却读不出舞姿中的悲情

唱着歌坠落
惊醒腊梅姐妹的芳魂
多少人陶醉你们的体香
却辨不清歌声中的呻吟

流着泪坠落
滋润泥土中的春心
多少人享受你们的献身
但搂不住骨肉中的灵魂

坠落… 飞舞… 呻吟…
坠落… 流泪… 悸魂…
大地铺开画卷的白纸
历史飘零诗句的晶莹

人们欢跳风寒的世界
人们迷恋圣洁的梦境

雪儿啊,为什么
要把时间和空间洗白
雪儿啊,为什么
要遮盖污秽和陷阱

2005、2、14 晨7:33
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾,台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-21 19:04:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

原作连接何处?与原作对照,可以读出作者更动作品时思维脉络!或往(落尘)一试!欢迎!

http://oson.ca/viewtopic.php?t=10958
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-22 07:52:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

这首比较抒情了,感觉前面不太顺流~久不见了,呵呵,看见雪了,高兴吧~ Smile
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溪语
秀才


Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 509
Location: 中国恩施
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PostPosted: 2008-01-22 08:05:08    Post subject: Reply with quote

流着泪坠落
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溪语的博客:家住鄂西
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-23 22:08:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好三位!最近主要在散文栏目学习。

今天又下了大雪,可能是我的《雪儿啊》惹的吧?
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