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裸心
红袖添乱
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Joined: 09 Jan 2008
Posts: 778

红袖添乱Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-21 21:47:52    Post subject: 裸心 Reply with quote

裸心


怀着一颗蓝色的
无求无为的裸心
我微笑着
感悟你的心

赤裸
不掩饰
也不设防

如果你倦了
我会把心放平
头枕过来吧
这里!就是你的故乡

如果你心碎了
我会一遍一遍
低下心,吻你的泪
再吻你流血的胸膛

如果我有机会
或许,能以感恩的心
向你娓娓道来
我曾经的忧伤
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾,台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-21 21:59:13    Post subject: Reply with quote

很有意思


如果这裸是人生,怀着无求无为裸心的情形不多。要是就太好了。

赤裸这词好吗??疑问,

如果你倦了, 这里!就是你的故乡。好像不出去也得出去呀。

吻你的泪,再吻你流血的胸膛 不太理解。能解释吗? 谢谢。。。
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韩少君
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Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
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PostPosted: 2008-01-21 22:07:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

很喜欢,不矫情不造作.
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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红袖添乱
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Joined: 09 Jan 2008
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红袖添乱Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-21 22:38:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

韩少君 wrote:
很喜欢,不矫情不造作.


谢谢少君兄!我也不喜欢造作。但偶尔我矫情。我会在这里不断的学习。
有空拜读您的。
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红袖添乱
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PostPosted: 2008-01-21 22:45:34    Post subject: Reply with quote

很有意思


”如果这裸是人生,怀着无求无为裸心的情形不多。要是就太好了。

赤裸这词好吗??疑问,

如果你倦了, 这里!就是你的故乡。好像不出去也得出去呀。

吻你的泪,再吻你流血的胸膛 不太理解。能解释吗? 谢谢。。。“

是的,诗的境界可以是至善至美的。无求无为本来就是我的性格。没看我不无正业?
我喜欢赤裸着我的心,让我的心飞,无忧无虑的。你还喜欢裸评。可见,赤裸这词很随意
很好用。
累了就在我这里找到安慰,伤了,我来帮你疗伤。

我这首诗是因为有朋友问我,你就这么相信我吗?你不想了解一下我吗?
我认为,同是爱诗之人,这点沟通还是该有的。我能从诗里读人。读心。
至于我,我是敞开的,裸露的。
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沙漠
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PostPosted: 2008-01-21 23:09:08    Post subject: Reply with quote

不错!感觉可以压缩一下。
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佳忆
童生


Joined: 14 Jan 2008
Posts: 96

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PostPosted: 2008-01-21 23:25:40    Post subject: Reply with quote

再看一遍
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半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
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PostPosted: 2008-01-22 07:58:34    Post subject: Reply with quote

来读,感觉到红袖的直率和真情~
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溪语
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Joined: 16 Mar 2007
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PostPosted: 2008-01-22 08:00:09    Post subject: Reply with quote

率真!
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刘雨萍
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Joined: 25 Jan 2007
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Location: Houston, TX. U.S.A
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PostPosted: 2008-01-22 13:19:09    Post subject: Reply with quote

问候一颗赤裸、敞开的心。在纷乱喧哗的世界,做到赤裸、敞开是否容易?好在有诗歌的盾牌挡着。
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红袖添乱
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Joined: 09 Jan 2008
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PostPosted: 2008-01-22 18:05:40    Post subject: Reply with quote

刘雨萍 wrote:
问候一颗赤裸、敞开的心。在纷乱喧哗的世界,做到赤裸、敞开是否容易?好在有诗歌的盾牌挡着。



不然,你担心我已遍体鳞伤?
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始君
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Joined: 23 Feb 2008
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PostPosted: 2008-03-20 00:32:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

为什么这颗心是蓝色的泥?在英语中,blue也可解释为:忧郁。
是一颗忧郁的心吗?
这颜色的描述,对表现主题有何作用泥?
(就诗论诗)
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阿依琼裙
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Joined: 09 Apr 2007
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Location: 废墟之上
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PostPosted: 2008-03-20 05:27:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

裸心  坦然的心~~
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