白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2006-12-21 14:06:03 Post subject: <隐> |
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<隐>
大凡圣洁的
定隐于野
的幽静
你却婷婷
玉立市政广场, 任
一千双, 一万双眼睛
和艺人的冰刀
舔噬
你的隐密
唯有那株老树
用它干枯的, 甚至
连片叶子都握不住的手指
摘下大朵的雪花 是想
为你缝制一件白衣么?
其实何苦? 温柔如果逝去, 纯净
如果逝去 要去的
由它, 由风
雕刻一尊神或者撒旦
堂尔皇之的 隐
于霓虹 |
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kokho 进士出身

Joined: 30 Nov 2006 Posts: 2642 Location: Singapore kokhoCollection |
Posted: 2006-12-21 14:19:09 Post subject: |
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月光 开始 向哲思 进发!!!
很好的尝试。。。
。  _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌 |
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和平岛 举人

Joined: 25 May 2006 Posts: 1277 Location: Victoria, Canada 和平岛Collection |
Posted: 2006-12-21 19:26:50 Post subject: |
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很有感想的
雕刻一尊神或者撒旦
 _________________ 写诗是为了写更好的诗 |
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半溪明月 榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 4760
半溪明月Collection |
Posted: 2006-12-21 20:45:41 Post subject: |
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呵呵,学习~
要一直在大家的背后跑了~  |
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司马策风 举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006 Posts: 1211 Location: 温哥华 司马策风Collection |
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白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2006-12-22 17:07:50 Post subject: |
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kokho wrote: |
月光 开始 向哲思 进发!!!
很好的尝试。。。
。  |
谢谢KOK的鼓励. MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY NEW YEAR  |
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白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2006-12-22 17:11:11 Post subject: |
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和平岛 wrote: |
很有感想的
雕刻一尊神或者撒旦
 |
岛斑看来只喜欢撒旦. 注意把潘多拉的盒子盖好.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY NEW YEAR |
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白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2006-12-22 17:13:13 Post subject: |
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半溪明月 wrote: |
呵呵,学习~
要一直在大家的背后跑了~  |
喜欢你的诗歌中浓郁的生活气息.
圣诞快乐  |
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白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2006-12-22 17:17:00 Post subject: |
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司马策风 wrote: |
大隐隐于朝,中隐隐于市,小隐隐于野。这是常人口语。
月光这是在用诗歌语言来表现,而且很有味。 |
谢谢理解.近日和一高人长谈有悟: 还有另一隐, 无色的透明的冰却在城市的缤纷中闪烁......为这大, 中, 小隐加了一条小尾巴
MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY NEW YEAR. |
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杯中冲浪 进士出身
Joined: 29 Sep 2006 Posts: 2891 Location: 中国 杯中冲浪Collection |
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白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2006-12-23 06:57:36 Post subject: |
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北方狼 wrote: |
很喜欢。“大凡圣洁的
定隐于野
的幽静
你却婷婷 ”
“的幽静”去掉,更好。更开阔,并能给人思考的空白。 |
好眼力! 不愧国语老师. 同感, 这三个字恰好是我"去"与"留"的犹豫. 后来之所以留是从全诗考虑给后面的"隐 于霓虹"留一个反差. 谢谢你的建议. 盼能听到更多的意见.
祝圣诞快乐. |
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白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2006-12-23 07:39:42 Post subject: 喜欢博弈的译文, 一并转贴到此 |
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博弈 写到:
did a quick reading interpretation
not direct translation, happy holidays. will be gone for 2 weeks
Concealed
Grace, there you are,
definitely pure and sacred;
at civic square, one thought secreted.
Cascading laid eyes,
artistic carving knives, prying
for your concealed privacy.
Is it? The aged tree, if no one else,
with his shriveled--not to mention
to grip a leaf--wrist and fingers,
grabs a cloth of snow
to knit you a white dress.
Then again why bother?
Let tenderness go, pureness
vanish as they wish if only
they wish, let winds
engrave God’s name, or Satan’s
magnificently open
into neon in the air. |
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维鹿延 秀才
Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 212 Location: 中国广东 维鹿延Collection |
Posted: 2006-12-25 08:57:00 Post subject: |
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隐于市,隐于野,感慨啊。 _________________ 散步者身体里面的声音 |
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白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2006-12-25 14:11:30 Post subject: |
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谢谢你, 节日愉快 |
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迪拜 同进士出身
Joined: 31 Oct 2006 Posts: 1588
迪拜Collection |
Posted: 2006-12-25 16:59:11 Post subject: 有哲理性 |
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有哲理性 |
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白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2006-12-25 19:14:41 Post subject: Re: 有哲理性 |
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问好迪拜, 圣诞快乐. |
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鹤雨 秀才
Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 113 Location: 上海 鹤雨Collection |
Posted: 2006-12-26 01:18:13 Post subject: |
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其实何苦? 温柔如果逝去, 纯净
如果逝去 要去的
由它, 由风
喜欢这段,一种超然的气魄,好女子心胸!
一首精短的小诗,竟也能让读者各有所得所悟!
学习了!温柔,纯净,洒脱的月光!握手! _________________ 愿意和大家共同进步! |
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白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2006-12-26 07:40:19 Post subject: |
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谢谢鹤雨.
问好新年, 远握. |
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