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冬天/最后的温柔
悠子
举人


Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-09 01:13:59    Post subject: 冬天/最后的温柔 Reply with quote

冬天

枯叶,情绪低落地在地面上打转
寻找着泥土里残余的秋色
树枝纷乱地在天上画着伤感
孤单的鸟巢, 寂寞等待

冷瑟的风刺痛了强作勇敢的脸
满襟的清寒,怎能填满
失去的温暖。渴望
大雪覆盖一季灰色的苍茫

星星们都留在了暖和的地点
太阳也懒懒的,半醒半睡的冬眠
我查着日历,数着冬天。。。

01/09/2008

最后的温柔

渐远的是清纯的蓝天
走近的山峦穿着秋的欢颜
眼睛燃烧了红枫的火焰
长发波动着蒙烟的水间

树林随捡榛果的小松鼠跳跃
不曾耕作的犁耙只好等着收落叶
送一缕惆怅划过南行的飞雁
染一点阳光里苹果的红红笑脸
。。。

放飞, 秋色心情
宽阔了堆着羊群草垛的黄草原
任秋雨的缠绵秋风的轻舔
将最后的温柔轻轻挽留在身边

10/11/2007
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游旋1
童生


Joined: 19 Nov 2007
Posts: 72
Location: 中国-贵州-遵义-凤冈
游旋1Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-09 02:22:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

有味道,欣赏了
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用文字结缘 拿鸿雁对话
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-09 10:25:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

传统, 典雅.
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莞君
秀才


Joined: 20 Oct 2007
Posts: 561
Location: 中国 陕西
莞君Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-09 12:25:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

欣赏 喜欢1 感觉很好 提 问好
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莞君
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾,台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-10 04:17:36    Post subject: Re: 冬天/最后的温柔 Reply with quote

悠子 wrote:
冬天

枯叶,情绪低落地在地面上打转
寻找着泥土里残余的秋色
树枝纷乱地在天上画着伤感
孤单的鸟巢, 寂寞等待

冷瑟的风刺痛了强作勇敢的脸
满襟的清寒,怎能填满

失去的温暖。渴望
大雪覆盖一季灰色的苍茫

星星们都留在了暖和的地点
太阳也懒懒的,半醒半睡的冬眠
我查着日历,数着冬天。。。

01/09/2008


想指出的是斷行的地方。渴望之前隨便加個字詞試試!
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可情可理,去捧就真
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悠子
举人


Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-10 06:09:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

回盗: 你说地很对, 一时没有什么好词儿, 想想。 谢盗盗
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hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2008-01-10 09:42:19    Post subject: Re: 冬天/最后的温柔 Reply with quote

悠子 wrote:
冬天
...
星星们都留在了暖和的地点
...


不错
做了一下这功能, 还不是太理想
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为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-10 19:47:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

韵律感很强.
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-10 20:48:51    Post subject: Reply with quote

不错!问好悠 子
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走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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