zhangmin
秀才
Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Posts: 450
Location: 中国.江苏.张家港
zhangminCollection |
 Posted: 2007-12-29 13:16:43 Post subject: 冬眠 |
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同学聚会，为何总在冬季
我还没有抖落羽翼上的秋霜
你却摘下高架桥上的咏叹，跪倒在
谁的脚下
终于，阳光逃避白天的时间
把我的嘴唇逼出血来。你拣起
一颗叛逆的种子，让精灵去冶炼
忙着把家搬到城里，又把冬眠安排在
村庄 |
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子花
秀才
Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722
子花Collection |
| Posted: 2007-12-29 13:46:50 Post subject: |
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终于，阳光逃避白天的时间
把我的嘴唇逼出血来。你拣起
喜欢!! |
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zhangmin
秀才
Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Posts: 450
Location: 中国.江苏.张家港
zhangminCollection |
| Posted: 2007-12-30 16:12:02 Post subject: |
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谢谢子花,远握.
_________________
风走过，灯灭了，黑夜里你的烟雾尘埃在我的眼泪里。月光下的影子总为屋檐下的风铃疗伤。 |
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莞君
秀才
Joined: 20 Oct 2007
Posts: 561
Location: 中国 陕西
莞君Collection |
| Posted: 2007-12-30 19:45:05 Post subject: |
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终于，阳光逃避白天的时间
把我的嘴唇逼出血来。你拣起
一颗叛逆的种子，让精灵去冶炼
忙着把家搬到城里，又把冬眠安排在
村庄
欣赏了 很好 新年问好
_________________
莞君 |
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zhangmin
秀才
Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Posts: 450
Location: 中国.江苏.张家港
zhangminCollection |
| Posted: 2007-12-31 11:54:10 Post subject: |
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谢谢莞君,新年快乐,远握.
_________________
风走过，灯灭了，黑夜里你的烟雾尘埃在我的眼泪里。月光下的影子总为屋檐下的风铃疗伤。 |
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身
Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection |
| Posted: 2007-12-31 11:58:56 Post subject: |
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不能把（终于）拿掉嗎？還三個！
_________________
可情可理，去捧就真 |
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zhangmin
秀才
Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Posts: 450
Location: 中国.江苏.张家港
zhangminCollection |
| Posted: 2008-01-01 13:27:30 Post subject: |
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| 詩盜喜裸評 wrote: |
| 不能把（终于）拿掉嗎？還三個！ |
为什么呢?问好,远握. |
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身
Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection |
| Posted: 2008-01-01 14:00:23 Post subject: |
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| zhangmin wrote: |
| 詩盜喜裸評 wrote: |
| 不能把（终于）拿掉嗎？還三個！ |
为什么呢?问好,远握. |
拿掉（終於）對這首作品有影響嗎？如果有，那留著。
_________________
可情可理，去捧就真 |
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莞君
秀才
Joined: 20 Oct 2007
Posts: 561
Location: 中国 陕西
莞君Collection |
| Posted: 2008-01-01 15:47:38 Post subject: |
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好诗歌再赏 问好
_________________
莞君 |
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zhangmin
秀才
Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Posts: 450
Location: 中国.江苏.张家港
zhangminCollection |
| Posted: 2008-01-02 11:21:51 Post subject: |
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谢谢,远握. |
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迪拜
同进士出身
Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588
迪拜Collection |
| Posted: 2008-01-02 16:52:49 Post subject: |
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| 抒情 |
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zhangmin
秀才
Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Posts: 450
Location: 中国.江苏.张家港
zhangminCollection |
| Posted: 2008-01-03 11:24:08 Post subject: |
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谢谢迪拜,远握.
_________________
风走过，灯灭了，黑夜里你的烟雾尘埃在我的眼泪里。月光下的影子总为屋檐下的风铃疗伤。 |
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