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[原创]春天在呐喊
梁翼
童生


Joined: 20 Feb 2007
Posts: 76
Location: 广东省茂名市
梁翼Collection
PostPosted: 2007-12-29 01:39:23    Post subject: [原创]春天在呐喊 Reply with quote

[原创]春天在呐喊
诗/梦君诗画两翼

巅峰冰霜伫足
逮捕天边飞行的云彩
一股暖流朝见出手营救
寒冷冉冉溃散
空气对人态度荏苒和蔼
苍穹感动哭泣流涕

怀孕期满的雪山
隆隆雪崩呐喊声震天动地
黄河壶口羊水冲破冰封胎盘
分娩出春天黄皮肤的婴孩

头顶疯长青藏高原野草
牛羊成为著名的理发师
右手五指山披挂
全身裸体橡胶树一套套军装
左手牵引长江巨龙纸鸢
追逐北归的大雁
雷达荧屏跟踪略去的影子
地图绿色箭头标记飞越的线路

2007年12月29日
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作品发表在:《诗词》报、《澳洲彩虹鹦》、《2006中国最佳网络诗歌》、《华语诗人2005-2006双年展目录》、《回归》、《中国现代诗歌网<秋之韵>诗赛二等奖》、《诗歌报世界杯诗赛三等奖》
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莞君
秀才


Joined: 20 Oct 2007
Posts: 561
Location: 中国 陕西
莞君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-12-29 01:50:30    Post subject: 不错 提 问好 Reply with quote

新年问好
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贝多芬
童生


Joined: 17 Mar 2007
Posts: 94
Location: 中国上海
贝多芬Collection
PostPosted: 2007-12-29 01:51:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

意象多而杂,没有写出感觉
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渴望苏醒的日子不会到来

http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1259454194
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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2007-12-29 18:38:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好

再打磨
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nobody
进士出身


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2007-12-29 21:05:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

诗挺有味,题目有点失败。
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