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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

日子

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2007-12-14 07:09:07 Post subject: 日子

日子我总看到日子像陀螺一样忙我像日子一样散漫 2007-12-14 _________________ 杯中冲浪.披履而行 http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

蓝冰
秀才

Joined: 20 Sep 2007
Posts: 115

蓝冰Collection

Posted: 2007-12-14 07:12:11 Post subject:

同感

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-12-14 07:17:50 Post subject:

日子我总看到日子像陀螺一样忙我像日子一样散漫 2007-12-14 如果上逻辑课就不及格～

迪拜
同进士出身

Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection

Posted: 2007-12-14 20:57:52 Post subject:

表达的精练但是具有一定的思索余地

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2007-12-15 00:28:32 Post subject:

半溪明月 wrote:

日子

我总看到日子像陀螺一样忙
我像日子一样散漫
2007-12-14

如果上逻辑课就不及格～ Very Happy

逻辑的问题正是诗意的产生啊，内在的逻辑。
_________________
杯中冲浪.披履而行
http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

游旋1
童生

Joined: 19 Nov 2007
Posts: 72
Location: 中国-贵州-遵义-凤冈
游旋1Collection

Posted: 2007-12-15 07:17:59 Post subject:

呵呵!短,深 _________________ 用文字结缘拿鸿雁对话

彭世学
秀才

Joined: 24 Jun 2007
Posts: 187
Location: 中国
彭世学Collection

Posted: 2007-12-18 17:06:27 Post subject:

欣赏，问好！！ _________________ 认为诗是悬崖上的孤松，栖鸟是她唯一的养料我的博客： http://blog.sina.com.cn/pengshixue 《网文荟萃》报：http://bbs.wangwenw.com/index.asp

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2007-12-18 22:36:23 Post subject:

看了几遍,着实想了一下理解是此日子非彼日子. 冲浪善于制造冲突矛盾对比,有冲击感.因此往往虽短,但给人印象深刻,且有回味余地.学习. _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-12-18 23:31:56 Post subject:

nobody wrote:

看了几遍,着实想了一下 Laughing

理解是此日子非彼日子.

冲浪善于制造冲突矛盾对比,有冲击感.因此往往虽短,但给人印象深刻,且有回味余地.学习.

发现冲浪的诗歌好了吧 Wink

韩少君
进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection

Posted: 2007-12-18 23:52:47 Post subject:

_________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345

子花
秀才

Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722

子花Collection

Posted: 2007-12-19 01:35:33 Post subject:

总觉得缺少点厚重感！！

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2007-12-19 03:32:44 Post subject:

谢谢各位朋友。 _________________ 杯中冲浪.披履而行 http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

博弈
榜眼

Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection

Posted: 2007-12-19 06:25:00 Post subject:

想起那个天上的星星为何像人们一样地拥挤地上的人们为何像星星一样地疏远 _________________ （在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2007-12-19 06:40:02 Post subject:

博弈 wrote:

想起那个

天上的星星为何像人们一样地拥挤
地上的人们为何像星星一样地疏远

哈哈，我开始也想这样写：
“我总看到日子像我一样忙
我像日子一样散漫 ”
但总放不下“陀螺”这个意象。
_________________
杯中冲浪.披履而行
http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-12-19 06:43:36 Post subject:

我以为好就好在这陀螺上了, 集散漫和繁忙于一身. 还要被鞭子抽着

博弈
榜眼

Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection

Posted: 2007-12-19 13:09:59 Post subject:

陀螺好。联想，用来辩解逻辑说。 _________________ （在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

莞君
秀才

Joined: 20 Oct 2007
Posts: 561
Location: 中国陕西
莞君Collection

Posted: 2007-12-20 19:34:42 Post subject:

耐品的两句欣赏并学习问好 _________________ 莞君

杨海军
进士出身

Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection

Posted: 2007-12-21 16:42:05 Post subject:

_________________ 走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮 ——拙作《离开村庄》 http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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