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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

八声甘州.暮

暗香如沁
秀才

Joined: 14 Jan 2007
Posts: 885
Location: 北京
暗香如沁Collection

Posted: 2007-12-17 11:31:30 Post subject: 八声甘州.暮

算年关近矣，问梅儿、香落可还家？恼残风漠漠，荒园衰草，红日西斜。道是恨生愁长，争奈在天涯。纤指琴音远，弹倦《平沙》。数载风波谁渡？问菩提安济，休累袈裟。叹尘心难消，买醉暗嗟呀。这般苦、诗文写尽，凭甚还得乱如麻？抬头望、月光微透，暮掩轻纱。 _________________ http://blog.sina.com.cn/axrq用寂寞谱写最美的舞曲~

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2007-12-17 11:38:34 Post subject:

诗文写尽，凭甚还得乱如麻文字的舞曲, 透出许多感叹 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

qinghongh
榜眼

Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2007-12-17 16:33:36 Post subject:

“争奈在天涯”是否为“怎奈在天涯”?

莹雪
进士出身

Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
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Posted: 2007-12-17 17:31:36 Post subject:

欣赏。

楚人
童生

Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 63
Location: 中国大陆
楚人Collection

Posted: 2007-12-17 18:29:48 Post subject:

何时能看到你的好作品,好韵致的同时再感受到你的好心情呢?

暗香如沁
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Joined: 14 Jan 2007
Posts: 885
Location: 北京
暗香如沁Collection

Posted: 2007-12-18 19:12:24 Post subject:

hepingdao wrote:

诗文写尽，凭甚还得乱如麻

文字的舞曲, 透出许多感叹

谢谢老师评阅.
_________________
http://blog.sina.com.cn/axrq用寂寞谱写最美的舞曲~

暗香如沁
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Joined: 14 Jan 2007
Posts: 885
Location: 北京
暗香如沁Collection

Posted: 2007-12-18 19:14:09 Post subject:

qinghongh wrote:

“争奈在天涯”是否为“怎奈在天涯”?

古语:争==怎/如果用"怎"就出律了。问好老师。
_________________
http://blog.sina.com.cn/axrq用寂寞谱写最美的舞曲~

暗香如沁
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Joined: 14 Jan 2007
Posts: 885
Location: 北京
暗香如沁Collection

Posted: 2007-12-18 19:14:35 Post subject:

莹雪 wrote:

欣赏。

谢谢雪.
_________________
http://blog.sina.com.cn/axrq用寂寞谱写最美的舞曲~

暗香如沁
秀才

Joined: 14 Jan 2007
Posts: 885
Location: 北京
暗香如沁Collection

Posted: 2007-12-18 19:15:11 Post subject:

楚人 wrote:

何时能看到你的好作品,好韵致的同时再感受到你的好心情呢?

对不起.
_________________
http://blog.sina.com.cn/axrq用寂寞谱写最美的舞曲~

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