东雪西雨
童生
Joined: 10 Feb 2007
Posts: 51
Location: 江苏张家港
东雪西雨Collection |
 Posted: 2007-12-16 20:53:05 Post subject: 今晚我是空的 |
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过一座桥，我开始归纳我的行程
一个仿古诗人误入，传说西厢
你的多情衣袂、我的淡定浊酒
我们在时间的两端，隔朝相望
你顺水而来，河不安地涨起
告诉我，内心的城池就要沦陷
我的全部历史松垮下来
自我退到你的酒杯，退到
极致的边缘，我是你的殖民
恣意沉沦下去，举觞投眉
我幻化成一道金牌菜肴，让你慢慢吞咽
甬道、灌木、过了河的浅笑
一进门，我就收拾残余的矜持
束手就擒
今晚，我是空的
稻草人坐在你身边，风吹走绿色
并在返回生态的路上迷失，随遇而安
这让一支花言中，下一个季节
春色将长满，生活的废墟
让苗条的河，渐渐流入
我的朴素空间
_________________
让自己的思想处于零点 |
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白水
大学士
Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection |
| Posted: 2007-12-16 21:06:57 Post subject: |
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| 好文笔. 形象生动却不乏真情 |
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迪拜
同进士出身
Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588
迪拜Collection |
| Posted: 2007-12-16 23:16:02 Post subject: |
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问好
不错 |
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半溪明月
榜眼
Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760
半溪明月Collection |
| Posted: 2007-12-17 04:55:09 Post subject: |
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| 古典的意境美．语言节奏感强～ |
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nobody
进士出身
Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection |
| Posted: 2007-12-17 05:23:56 Post subject: |
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思路开阔，笔触活跃。节奏流畅。
这样的，才算会写诗
学习之！
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I'm nobody! Who are you? |
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半溪明月
榜眼
Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760
半溪明月Collection |
| Posted: 2007-12-17 07:18:59 Post subject: |
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再品，收藏了～  |
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照夜
童生
Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 37
照夜Collection |
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