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大雾
克罗米
童生


Joined: 08 Dec 2007
Posts: 7

克罗米Collection
PostPosted: 2007-12-08 02:15:11    Post subject: 大雾 Reply with quote

大 雾


好大的雾里,好多人行走
赶着时间上班
不远的地方,他们看见对方的影子
相识的,不能打下招呼
不相识的,雾一般没留下什么


他们的心跳慢慢靠近
他们点点头,或者问候一声
彼此是那样朦胧和陌生
他们中间有一层薄薄的世界
将各自的路分隔
在他们身后
移动了一份甜蜜
还有一片晴空紧紧跟随

2007年12月7日

初冬,剪草的人


雾裹着大地,朦朦的
寒风裹着她们的清晨,冷冷的
厚厚的衣裹着她们的明天,暖暖的
遍地的枯草,痴痴地
熬在干瘪的冬里
像她们望着干瘪的日子
哀叹物价疯涨


她们每天手握几条马路
让垃圾消失
某个时节,也会去剪草
修理灌木丛不规则的绿色
让多余的东西下岗
下岗是她们心头的一片枯草
她们常用剪草机剪除


嘟嘟的声音在她们手下游走
颤动她们日常生活的神经
在移植的绿化带上
干枯一片片倒下了
日积月累的尘埃从根茎下站起
卷出了幸福的波浪。然后
又倒在大地的怀里,她们的一天里
鼻孔、唾液、口罩、梦留下了
黑色的痕迹。来年的春天
她们还会行动
在这个地方掀起绿浪

2007年12月7日
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上城
进士出身


Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Posts: 2024
Location: 江夏黄鹤楼
上城Collection
PostPosted: 2007-12-08 02:29:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

欣赏。好诗。心有暖流
_________________
每个诗人都很重要
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-12-08 05:38:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

他们的心跳慢慢靠近
他们点点头,或者问候一声
彼此是那样朦胧和陌生
他们中间有一层薄薄的世界
将各自的路分隔
在他们身后
移动了一份甜蜜
还有一片晴空紧紧跟随

这一段表达的情感不清楚,忽左忽右,也许是用词不准确吧~
第二首不错!
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-12-08 07:06:08    Post subject: Reply with quote

他们中间有一层薄薄的世界
将各自的路分隔
在他们身后
移动了一份甜蜜
还有一片晴空紧紧跟随

哲理而温馨, 喜欢

欢迎新朋友
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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2007-12-09 16:55:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

写的不错
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