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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌讲习交流班 Post new topic   Reply to topic
07年 11月23日 开课 :) Previous  [1][2]3
放飞心情LL
童生


Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 15
Location: 中国赣州
放飞心情LLCollection
PostPosted: 2007-11-29 05:40:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

万里天空
白云飘飘
巨龙飞舞
为盛开的黄花雀跃
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当你向我敞开了心扉,我的心便含满了泪水,我那颗疲惫不堪的灵魂,便体验到了一股温暖,一缕欣慰。
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kokho
进士出身


Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-11-29 10:14:15    Post subject: Reply with quote



全乐吧 放飞心情LL

都玩的高兴吧? 俳句 以后 一起谈。。 应该是第9课 。。

现在大家关注 第1课的作业哟 。。。


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乒乓、摄影、诗歌
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放飞心情LL
童生


Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 15
Location: 中国赣州
放飞心情LLCollection
PostPosted: 2007-11-30 04:02:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

神灵开启天窗
秋风从天窗飞出
山顶白云飘
山下黄花艳
_________________
当你向我敞开了心扉,我的心便含满了泪水,我那颗疲惫不堪的灵魂,便体验到了一股温暖,一缕欣慰。
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荷梦
进士出身


Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北,黄梅
荷梦Collection
PostPosted: 2007-12-01 23:59:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="Lake"]



敬茶 献花




的确有很多的新朋友,借Lake的图片欢迎大家了!
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全乐吧
童生


Joined: 20 Nov 2007
Posts: 51

全乐吧Collection
PostPosted: 2007-12-04 17:29:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

我在门前站
目光穿过旧栅栏
窥青草连片



见笑了,原来不懂俳句里,不可以带“我”之类人称的。

现改为:

闲在门前站
目光穿过旧栅栏
窥青草连片

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http://hi.baidu.com/fullhappy/
相逢何必曾相识,萍水之谊网络縁
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Lake
举人


Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 1286

LakeCollection
PostPosted: 2007-12-05 08:59:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

全乐吧 wrote:

原来不懂俳句里,不可以带“我”之类人称的。


我想是比较少用,但不是绝对。

这有一首松尾芭蕉的

This autumn, why do I get old? In clouds a bird

今秋,为什么老了?云中一只鸟
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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溪语
秀才


Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 509
Location: 中国恩施
溪语Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-28 07:47:51    Post subject: Reply with quote

讲沙!
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溪语的博客:家住鄂西
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