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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

五绝冬日首场雪

qinghongh
榜眼

Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2007-11-22 16:22:26 Post subject: 五绝冬日首场雪

五绝冬日首场雪路滑车难行，满天大雪纷。途人都裹颜，寒气又敲门。

晓松
举人

Joined: 26 Feb 2007
Posts: 1192

晓松Collection

Posted: 2007-11-22 20:38:20 Post subject:

2007年冬天的第一场雪，比以往时候来的.......

qinghongh
榜眼

Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2007-11-22 20:44:49 Post subject:

谢晓松赏读。为了平仄，我做了些调整修改。望指正。祝冬安！

wenshan
秀才

Joined: 29 Jul 2007
Posts: 112
Location: Canada
wenshanCollection

Posted: 2007-11-23 12:12:48 Post subject:

依韵奉和qinghongh <冬日首场雪> 冬来日早昏，寒宇变乾坤。枕上听风啸，通宵雪扣门。 (加拿大/闻山) _________________ 枫叶国-闻山

qinghongh
榜眼

Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2007-11-23 16:08:12 Post subject:

谢闻山和诗。我对原诗修改如下，也算奉和：满目雪纷纷，泥泞路难行。途人紧裹颜，电缆挂冰凌。

黄洋界
探花

Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection

Posted: 2007-11-24 16:19:58 Post subject:

此地冬日飘雪，难以出户，忽忆家乡山区学童上学苦况，因步《冬日首场雪》韵。碎玉落纷纷村童苦路行归来生灶火母爱暖寒门 _________________ ++++++++++++++ 喜金石书画，友竹菊梅兰

qinghongh
榜眼

Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2007-11-24 18:17:06 Post subject:

谢闻山老师，黄老师和诗。

冰清
同进士出身

Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 1921

冰清Collection

Posted: 2007-11-24 18:43:44 Post subject: 瑞雪送外孙入学

《瑞雪送外孙入学》依qinghongh《冬日首场雪》韵玉龙下凡早车驾亦纷纶祥佑人为贵庠迎几扇门

qinghongh
榜眼

Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2007-11-24 22:03:01 Post subject:

谢冰清老师。

wenshan
秀才

Joined: 29 Jul 2007
Posts: 112
Location: Canada
wenshanCollection

Posted: 2007-11-25 05:36:16 Post subject: 冬日首场雪

qinghongh wrote:

谢闻山和诗。我对原诗修改如下，也算奉和：

满目雪纷纷，
泥泞路难行。
途人紧裹颜，
电缆挂冰凌。

奉和qinghongh

木落繁英歇，
霜风雁远征。
芳辰春梦短，
今夜雪寒凌。

(加拿大/闻山)
_________________
枫叶国-闻山

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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

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