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用肮脏的手做美好的事情
维鹿延
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 212
Location: 中国广东
维鹿延Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-29 02:53:26    Post subject: 用肮脏的手做美好的事情 Reply with quote

[size=18]用肮脏的手做美好的事情[/size]


用肮脏的手做美好的事情
今夜 我拉开铝合金的窗户
放进一把新鲜的空气
我们呼吸的混浊而且没有香息的
室内气体 都是空调的
几乎不属于一个需要思想的人
不属于东平河以及河上的桥
桥上的细雨 细雨里面的行人

用肮脏的手驾驶宝马
在诊所里夸张地按脉
做一些演讲的手势
给乞丐一枚硬币
点一点显示器 在一张报纸的样版上
调整头条与二条的位置
堂皇地唱歌
在世界的这一面和另一面

用肮脏的手撕开早晨
一直撕到最后一个时点
从南海大道直到
伊拉克或者加沙
肮脏的 而且真实的
爆炸的人体以及火
宽阔的裂口展开双向八车道
用肮脏的手
抚摸受到伤害的群羊
那些都是善良的人们啊
也是在今夜 
他们的孩子在读着颂诗

我就是这么看见肮脏
(看见你的手直到天堂)
但是一个诗人无法深入
无法分开凶手和裂口
无法站上高台 无法入水
无法打击他们心肺里面的蛙鸣
无法种些花草
好像做许多美好的事情


20061114
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散步者身体里面的声音
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
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PostPosted: 2006-11-29 18:39:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

令人思索的诗歌
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和平岛
举人


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
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PostPosted: 2006-11-29 19:12:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

思考的路线清晰

无法语句, 表达出了诗人强烈挣扎的心态
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蓝桥
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Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 105

蓝桥Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-29 19:28:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

一针见血的笔,直指肮脏的深处!可敬的歌者!
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左岸
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Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Posts: 215
Location: 中国大连
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PostPosted: 2006-12-07 03:22:31    Post subject: Reply with quote

很有创意。题名醒世,惊世,用肮脏的手做美好的事情,是反讽,寓意深刻,使我想起戴望舒的:
我用残存的手掌,写下你们的伟大 。
  
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黑暗怎样焊住灵魂的银河
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遛达的七七
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Joined: 07 Jun 2006
Posts: 329

遛达的七七Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-07 21:15:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

无法站上高台 无法入水
无法打击他们心肺里面的蛙鸣

————赞啦!!


最后两句,个人读来有点别扭,想来也不只是引起我一个人的歧义吧。“好像”两个字似乎可不用。

妄言。 七七问好!
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
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PostPosted: 2006-12-09 00:56:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

很有层次感。最后2节渐入佳境。
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左岸
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Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Posts: 215
Location: 中国大连
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PostPosted: 2006-12-14 04:57:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

再读有特点的诗。
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墨染红颜
童生


Joined: 08 Oct 2006
Posts: 69

墨染红颜Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-14 18:43:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

题目就成了寓言,欣赏!
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