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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

浅冬E-MAIL

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白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-11-12 21:28:02 Post subject: 浅冬E-MAIL

浅冬E-MAIL 拈一根发丝把红豆穿成串挂在西沉的月芽上剩下的绿豆儿最好取来褒汤清火镇痛. 听说还能美容那天, 你从远方发来E-MAIL 字符不清. 突然想问海底电缆是否也会发炎一个不留神汤里洒进一把黄莲上清丸

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-11-12 21:44:29 Post subject:

呵呵，有故事?

吉祥女巫
童生

Joined: 12 Nov 2007
Posts: 63
Location: 江苏连云港
吉祥女巫Collection

Posted: 2007-11-13 00:11:58 Post subject:

半溪明月 wrote:

呵呵，有故事?

不仅是有故事　而且思绪好象是大幅度的跳动呢　　呵呵　　欣赏了　问好

博弈
榜眼

Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection

Posted: 2007-11-13 02:19:30 Post subject: Re: 浅冬E-MAIL

白水 Moonlight wrote:

浅冬E-MAIL

拈一根发丝
把红豆穿成串挂在西沉的
月芽上
剩下的绿豆儿最好取来褒汤清火
镇痛. 听说
还能美容

那天, 你从远方发来E-MAIL
字符不清. 突然
想问
海底电缆是否也会发炎
一个不留神汤里
洒进一把黄莲
上
清
丸

Very Happy

戏读，开个玩笑，

我在厨房
月儿如勾
有红豆，绿豆，黄莲
独自（肚子）还有点不舒服
笔记型电脑也在灶台边

你要来看我，我思考先把自己调理美丽
不知是眼里有泪水，还是开汤锅时的雾气
字符竟看不清

你说上不上火？ Laughing

_________________
（在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

杨海军
进士出身

Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection

Posted: 2007-11-13 04:03:23 Post subject:

拈一根发丝把红豆穿成串挂在西沉的月芽上剩下的绿豆儿最好取来褒汤清火镇痛. 听说还能美容那天, 你从远方发来E-MAIL 字符不清. 突然想问海底电缆是否也会发炎一个不留神汤里洒进一把黄莲上清丸 _________________ 走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮 ——拙作《离开村庄》 http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751

莞君
秀才

Joined: 20 Oct 2007
Posts: 561
Location: 中国陕西
莞君Collection

Posted: 2007-11-13 10:08:27 Post subject:

很好 _________________ 莞君

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2007-11-13 12:17:19 Post subject:

气死李白一只酒杯怎么能装得下两个月亮夜光里荡漾起桂花的清香是不是嫦娥顺着醉意冲澡我听到星星溅落银河的声音一只酒杯怎么能接得住七个仙女 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

William Zhou周道模
探花

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection

Posted: 2007-11-13 15:13:40 Post subject:

是否网络诗歌游戏成份比较多？我还是愿意看到用情用心甚至用血写的诗。 _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱. 周道模

蓝郁
童生

Joined: 13 Nov 2007
Posts: 37

蓝郁Collection

Posted: 2007-11-13 16:38:40 Post subject:

意象灵动形象，颇有情趣。

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-11-13 19:08:08 Post subject:

半溪明月 wrote:

呵呵，有故事?

是啊, 两个故事呢

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-11-13 19:08:54 Post subject:

吉祥女巫 wrote:

半溪明月 wrote:

呵呵，有故事?

不仅是有故事　而且思绪好象是大幅度的跳动呢　　呵呵　　欣赏了　问好

谢谢喜欢. 问好

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-11-13 19:26:31 Post subject: Re: 浅冬E-MAIL

博弈 wrote:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

博士的解读真有趣, 诗歌写出来就是大家的了.

不过这句解的到很真实, "不知是眼里有泪水/还是开汤锅时的雾气/字符竟看不清" 两个故事, 正好一句解一个 Very Happy

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-11-13 19:29:10 Post subject:

杨海军 wrote:

拈一根发丝
把红豆穿成串挂在西沉的
月芽上
剩下的绿豆儿最好取来褒汤清火
镇痛. 听说
还能美容

那天, 你从远方发来E-MAIL
字符不清. 突然
想问
海底电缆是否也会发炎
一个不留神汤里
洒进一把黄莲
上
清
丸

谢读

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-11-13 19:30:13 Post subject:

莞君 wrote:

很好

问好莞君, 谢谢.

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-11-13 19:44:50 Post subject:

hepingdao wrote:

气死李白

一只酒杯
怎么能装得下
两个月亮

夜光里
荡漾起桂花的清香
是不是嫦娥
顺着醉意
冲澡

我听到
星星溅落银河的声音

一只酒杯
怎么能接得住
七个仙女
Laughing

谢谢, 收藏.

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-11-13 19:51:13 Post subject:

William Zhou周道模 wrote:

是否网络诗歌游戏成份比较多？我还是愿意看到用情用心甚至用血写的诗。

谢谢道模提醒. 此诗原本挺真心的, 快敲完时正好起身吃药, 不由得乐了, 顺手就把药洒汤里了 Embarassed

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-11-13 19:53:08 Post subject:

蓝郁 wrote:

意象灵动形象，颇有情趣。

谢谢. 问好蓝郁

白琳
童生

Joined: 29 May 2007
Posts: 75

白琳Collection

Posted: 2007-11-15 04:15:30 Post subject:

这个好,有味

莞君
秀才

Joined: 20 Oct 2007
Posts: 561
Location: 中国陕西
莞君Collection

Posted: 2007-11-15 11:17:46 Post subject:

再赏好诗问好 _________________ 莞君

徐业华
秀才

Joined: 14 Mar 2007
Posts: 129
Location: 安徽
徐业华Collection

Posted: 2007-11-15 23:03:21 Post subject:

幽默源于诗慧。问好斑竹！ _________________ 只有在寒冷的冬天，我们才能接近最纯净的光芒。

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